Monday, September 04, 2006

Malaysia who?

Ontario
13th August

At a money changer near the Niagara Falls.

I was cashing my travellers check and after I have signed on the check the teller asked me to show my ID. I gave her my passport. And I saw her filling up a form and put my name as ‘Malaysia’.

Ladies and gentlemen, heeeere’s Miss Malaysia!!! Thank you! Thank you!



Oxford Street
18th August

I was anxiously waiting for my boss. We were let loose on one end of the road earlier and was told that the car would pick us up in one hour at the same spot. I got the MU baby jersey that my brother in law asked me to buy and was back at the spot at 6pm sharp. My boss was nowhere to be seen. Lost in the world of MarksSparks? Or disoriented because Oxford Street felt like an Arabian street?

I was worried especially since Kak Teh was already waiting at the hotel and I wouldn’t want to keep her away from her appointments. I also had a plane to catch. And what with the extra security measures, I wouldnt want to arrive late at the airport. Imagine the terror i would cause, if i were to arrive there late and was caught with whitening anti-wrinkle cream and air badak! Certainly weapon of mass destruction.

And I paced back and forth, and craned my neck properly like a good turkey. My boss was nowhere in sight. The car was late too. No car, no boss. How leh? How leh!

‘Hi.’ An ice-cream vendor said hi. Black leather jacket and hair split on the left. Shanana!
‘Hi’ I replied.
‘Yourr a tourrist?’
‘Yes I am’
‘Wherrre arre you from?’
“Malaysia.’
‘Oh I know Malaysia’
‘You do?’
‘Yes, of course. Who doesn’t know Malaysia of Singaporrre. The lion of the east. I know I know.’
‘Of course. Of course. And where are you from?’
‘Do I look like a Londoner to you? I am not. I am from Ukraine. Came herrre 5 years ago. You know Ukraine?’
‘Of course I do. The eagle of Africa. Who doesn’t know.’

Let’s just say that I didn’t get any free ice creams for that. And my boss was very late. And the car was even later. And so I only met Kak Teh for about two splits of a nanosecond.