Monday, October 17, 2005

The Eclipse

There was moon eclipse last night? Eggs were supposed to stand. Did they? Any witness?

While some eggs stand upright and do the march, I conked out as usual, oblivious to all the humpty doing the dumpties. I was too tired to moon-gaze.

Mak had her operation yesterday morning. My sister came down so she stayed with Mak the night before the operation. Mak would be Case No.2 at OT3. My sister texted me to hurry because Case No.1 is a minor surgery, hernia or something. I was at Putra Taman Jaya when the sms came in. And heart pounding, I boarded the train, it was 0800. At Sentral, I switched to Monorel and got off at Chow Kit station. From there, I ran to the hospital. Was it a bird? Was it a plane? No it was SuperOOD doing the sprint. Oh, the earth must have groaned!

I made it there just in time. They were wheeling Mak to the OT. I gave her a hug and whispered some zikir in her ears. She seemed so forlorn, small and scared.

It was 0900 hours. And the waiting begun.

I read a book by James Folliet, one about U-Boats and German, British, Ian Fleming, magnetic war heads and radar. Great book!

And went to check on her. 1200 hours. Still in OT, said the HA.

I read another book. Now this one is a difficult read. The International Jiu by Henry Ford. Some of what he says, make sense. But I also think there is a bit of paranoia there. Interesting read nevertheless. Can be a bit yawny though.

And went out to check on her. 1300 hours. In recovery room, said the HA.

I decided to wait at the OT lobby.

Met an ex school friend. She is a specialist there now. That makes two ex-school friend being specialists at GH.

Mak’s vascular surgeon came out.

‘she’s not out yet? We were done by noon. There was a bit of a complication just now. Her heart was stressed. Maybe that is why they keep her longer in Recovery Room.’ Said he.

‘Is she okay?’ I asked.

‘We can’t do bypass. We couldn’t find a good vessel. They are all very constricted. Some are even less than 1mm. And so we can’t fix the problem.’

And he went on describing the bad news further. I was actually hoping for the problem to be clogged vessel. At least then it would be localised and repair-work can be done. If there is no clogging but constriction of vessels throughout, then I would hope a bypass could help solve the problem. Now bypass is not possible.

‘So what is going to happen?’
‘We wait and see. The healing process will be affected, we expect it to be very slow.’
‘will the other toes turn black too?’
‘eventually yes. All the way to the knee. But we wait and see. Diabetes will constrict blood vessels. It is an eventuality. It will happen not just at the toes, but all over. We are more worried about the lack of supply to the brain and heart.’

Not very good news. No. And I shivered. Maybe it was the air-cond, maybe because I was fasting. But it was suddenly very cold that I shiver.

The OT door opened and Mak was wheeled out. Blinking back tears I went to walk beside her. Me on one side, my sis on the other side. Back to her room.

And she slept on. Once in a while she woke and took a sip of water. Vomitted green bile-like gut-content. And when the GA wore off, she sought our faces. And she asked me a question. Serious tone. Not a smile on her face. She must know.

‘Do you love me?’
‘Of course I do. I love you very much, Mak. Why do you ask?’
‘I just want to know’ she replied and closed her eyes.

Well, I do love you Mak.

I am sorry I left home too early. I was 12 when I left for boarding school. And I never really returned home after that. University, work and now marriage are all my excuses. I was your full-time kid for only 12 years. And as much as I am thankful for all the opportunities given to me, my regret is that I left home too early.

And I am sorry too for all the silly dramas I pulled. I have always been the stubborn one. Both you and Abah gave me freedom and let me be as independent as rebellious me wanted to be. Believe me Mak, for as long as I carry Abah’s name as binti, I will always remember the values you instilled in me. The importance of maruah, ilmu, family etc etc.

I am sorry if I have been a disappointment. For each piece of your heart broken by me, and for each time your eyes shed tears because of me I am sorry a thousand times more.

I love you Mak. More than I can ever show or describe. Yes. I do.

Surgery is done but it is not the end of the battle. But she wont fight it alone. Why should she when she has her children?

*******************************
Pssstttt, suggestions on alternative treatment are welcome. I am actually a staunch beleiver in modern medicine but now i am willing to try anything! Dr House, advise? Friends, h e l p? I am told that constricted blood vessel is an irreversible condition, no?

30 Comments:

Blogger JoKontan said...

ood,

maaf soklan menyempang. With your experience, given the opportunity, would you send your kid to Boarding school.

All my prayers with your Mak.

10:57 PM  
Blogger AuntieYan. said...

Ood, I'm just an odinary makcik with very little knowledge...all that I could give is my doa for you and your mother. Insyaallah.I'll pray for her.

11:20 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

dear jokontan,
soklan menyempang yang susah ni..

Frankly, no, not at 13 lah at least. 16 maaf lagi. Itupon agaknya i pindah rumah, dok sebelaaaaaah hostel dia. Hari2 boleh hulur nasi kat pagar. Haha..

i think kan, once anak2 keluar rumah, dia keluar terus lah. Anak2 dengan kita ni kejap je sebenaqnya..

u produk boarding school jugak?

11:22 PM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

ood, there is this dr kadir in pj..his clinic is at the building nearby eastin hotel. been cracking my head to remember the name of the whole place.
he practices alternative medicine..a bit costly, though..if you want, i'll get the add and phone number..

11:46 PM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

dapat dah! it's at phileo damansara 2.

11:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yang, you remember I told you about the guy who leaves behind UPM mosque? Go and find him. another is Haji Ayob, call him 0126916603 and mention my name. Insya Allah dia ikhtiar tolong. Usaha ok.

12:27 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

OOD, I don't know anything about alternative medicine..all I can offer is my prayer for you and your mom. InsyaAllah ya?

12:40 AM  
Blogger faux diamante said...

i can only offer hugs and prayers ood.

this is a very difficult time. sabar okay.

1:53 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

OOD, go and find Ozone treatment. Don't know whether it is of any good but a friend said that is is good. In Ampang there is a clinic. Try asking Irenewynn (u should have her email and no in THAT list. She is diabetic too.

9:06 AM  
Blogger anggerik merah said...

ood...i can't help much except to learn what your mak had gone thru. Will pray that she gets better. Dr Kadir mentioned by nefertiti was the doctor that I consulted after given-up with hospital for my son's treatment of asthmatic problem.

11:43 AM  
Blogger JoKontan said...

ood,

Boarding school. Yup, me and Maam. Me left home @ 13, while Maam @ 16.

I even posted the same Q to my schoolmate group. Surprising nearly 90% said they would sent their kids, given the opportunity.

Me and Maam diagree.

I dunno wether what I'm saying is appropriate or not (i'm sowee..), but prepare for the worst and pray for the best.

6:14 PM  
Blogger hana_kirana said...

tak nak try Homeopathy? not so much i know bout this treatment. however as far as i;m concern, it is nature product based. try google tengok. kalau tak silap, masa dating dengan boypren lama dulu (ops! kantoi) pernah terjumpa klinik Homeopathy kat area Bangsar ataupun Jalan Pantai tu.

6:15 PM  
Blogger Queen Of The House said...

Ood, the alternative treatment clinic in Ampang Point (mentioned by Auntyn)is a few doors away from the Affin Bank. I see lots of people there every day. The poster says free treatment, but I am sure they MUST charge for something.

7:43 PM  
Anonymous ariel said...

ood..
been following your blog.anedra knows me fr waaaaay back..my prayers for your mum.. can u'stand how you feel.. been away from home at exactly the same age as you did.. and never 'came back'. there are times when i think my mum dont even know me..
but anyway..i know of this lady who gives her mum, a diabetes patient e-excell product. it worked to bring the sugar level down.. the product works on our immune system and rebuilds what is rosak...i can introduce you to her.. and she can tell you further..her mum was a sucess story.. you can contact me at ariel_ptgal@yahoo.co.uk,god bless and banyak bersabar kay...

7:50 PM  
Blogger shidah said...

ood: all i can give is my prayer. Dr Harun Din, darul syifa?

7:55 PM  
Blogger Ely said...

oody my dear. i am so sorry to hear abt the outcome of the surgery day.

insyaAllah, there will be something to make her feel better. i do not have the answer, bit my prayers with u.

hugggs

8:35 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

OOD - thanks for the sms and u know my doa's are with you and yr mak. AG is also concerned. Insyaallah when I go back - I will visit.

8:38 PM  
Blogger Nurelhuda said...

Chelation helps the constriction.Try this website

http://drcranton.com/chelation.htm

I have done a few for diabetics with circulation problems. All of them improved after a few chelations.

I was really moved by what you wrote , the part when your mum asked if you loved her..thought about my Mum who is turning 70 next month

9:35 PM  
Anonymous Linda said...

sis, hv u ever heard CELLFOOD? i hv many positive testimonials from people surrounds me. Esp in Diabetes. They didnt even hv to cut out the their toes pun. If u need more info on this surf this http://www.atm2u.com/new_atm_english/main.asp?n=cellfood

if u need sumone to go n explain to you personally, i'll try find sumone in KL who incharge. No charge on the explaination. Dont worry, yes this is MLM product, but the product is powerful, an alternative way other than modern medicine. Lagi jgn risau im not helping you out ni on profit basis, its totally bcos of my concern to yr mother. Arwah father i pun mcm yr mum punya citer ni jugak sis. So ni jer yg mampu i tolong. Harap2 yr mum cepat2 sembuh hendaknya..

1:22 AM  
Blogger dr in the house said...

Pssstttt....Ood, have you heard of Sonotron therapy? They use a special lamp that emit certain wave of light that promotes cellular healing. there are several GPs in KL who use this lamp. Try asking around.

Your mum's post-op experience reminds me of mine in Aug last year. I had a bad time to come around after the GA, I thot I was gonna die.....

1:59 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

auntieyan,
thank you. It means a lot to me.

nefertiti,
thanks. I hope she'll be released soon. I'll scour philio damansara for dr kadir.

love,
thanks, i will call Haji Ayob from home tonight. Thanks pal. Maybe i can visit the UPM one with your mom. She needs to be looked at too.

anedra,
you've been a great crutch from day 1. Thanks.
*love*

nazrah,
thanks for being a friend!
*hugssies*

auntyN,
thanks, i'll look up for it in the net. I heard Kg Baru MC also has it. I'll read up more. Thanks. You're a gem!

anggerikmerah,
so is he good? Is he really that expensive? Do you have the contacts? email/chat me at
namokawe@yahoo.com can?

2:06 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

jokontan,
i actually had fun in boarding school. And i still am very much fond of friends i made there. It is just that i feel i miss out on family life. For example, memories i have of my dad is that of a kid. I dont remember my dad like that of an adult remembering her father. So, yes, i still hero-worship him. Not that it is a bad thing tho.

2:09 AM  
Blogger Nurelhuda said...

Shop around for a good price if you want to do the chelation.
Standard price is RM 300 per session but some doctors will give you less than this and don t pay more than this amount.The first session should cost less because they only use 1/4 EDTA..Dr Richard Yap in Ampang does not charge for first session
His phone number is 0321447395.
He talks too much , just ignore the talk..if you decide to go tell him Dr Suriya from Melaka gave you the contact.

2:24 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

hana kirana,
i am planning to try homeopathy too. What i know of it is that the medication is almost always in trace quantities. Entah. Must read up more. Thanks kakak manes.
*berapa banyak ex-bf dia ni ada ntah!*

Queenie,
the ozone thing you mean? Free ka? i'll go check it out. Ampang Point ya? I'll look it up. Thanks.

Ariel,
i have added u to ym contacts. mine is namokawe. Hope to talk to u online soon.Thanks O Friend Of Anedra.

Shidah,
i have heard of him and reputation but yet to try. Terlupa sampai. U sebut ni, I will I will. Thanks.

Ely,
she is recovering from the surgery. The wound will take some time. BUt there wasnt much blood during op and now, i was happy until the doctors said that that is bad actually, it only shows how sluggish the blood flow is. Sigh.
Thanks for being there, buddy buddy me.
*love*

kakteh,
you know i sayang you. Thanks.
*hugss*

nurelhuda,
i visited you and found some other great spots linked to you. Thanks.
I am very2 interested in chelation. I've read it up, will ask the vascular surgeon his opinion. My mom has kidney prob too, so that may need to be considered too. Thanks a lot. So the therapy is available here?

linda,
emailme namokawe@yahoo.com

dr house,
GAs are scary i think.You are put to sleep and then they cut you. U tend to wonder whether you will ever wake up again!

She's recovering from the op okay. No, never heard of sonotron. I will ask around and read up about it. Thanks!

2:26 AM  
Blogger anggerik merah said...

Odd,
Dr Kadir's treatment for my son definately work..A bit expensive. But a lot of natural healing like control food, environment etc.
Pasal Sonotron treatment yang Drinhouse mentioned tu..my friend Dr Mohd Ghazali at AU4 ada buat treatment ni. His clinic is opposite to gerai makan next to petrol station kat AU4 tu. You may want to talk to him to get some advice on alternative treatment. Not sure if you are familiar with that area. I will dig out for you info, (phone number and address) if I have with me here and email to you tonite Insyallah. Sorry, I am very far away to be there for you. Insyaallah one day when I am back..

2:30 AM  
Blogger Nurelhuda said...

Dr Yap is a specialist who does chelation and he can refer for ozone and hyperbaric oxygen as well. Dr Kadir is definitely a very good alternative therapist and he is a specialist paediatrician. If you ask the Plumber ( heart surgeon) about a treatment that can do without the plumbing they will vehemently deny it works but chelation has been approved by the FDA for IHD.
As for homeopathy..I treat some cases with homeopathy. My good friend Alastair Gray (Oz homeopath excellent fellow) is coming on 25th -27th November to give a seminar at City Villa ( Chowkit) so if you would like for both of us to take your Mum's case you are welcome to bring her.If you do want to see a homeopath in KL I would recomend Dr Low, a medical dr who is an excellent homeopath. I think her clinic is in Taman Midah , Klinik Midah.

5:47 AM  
Blogger mommy@lif said...

ood, bykkan bersabar. i can only offer you prayers for ur mom. may Allah decide what's best for her, amiin.

6:47 PM  
Blogger anasalwa said...

Ood,
Love and pray for you and your mom.

6:57 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

nurelhuda,
this is what the vascular surgeon sms-ed me, 'Chelation therapy is not effective in peripheral vessels like your mom's case. the surrounding vessel will a collateral circuit. the stenosis usually irreversible. that's why bypass surgery is indicated depending on the leg'

i dok pehey sepatoh herey!

i want to try dr kadir and homeopathy too. Yes, i am keen to attend the City Villa session.

anggerik merah,
i will meet you at yahoo.

alif's mommy,
thank you. one can never have too much doas and well wishes! Thanks thanks thanks.

anasalwa,
thank you.I am humbled by the well-wishes and love.
thanks.
*hugss*

10:56 PM  
Blogger Nurelhuda said...

The vascular surgeon may be right. No way of knowing unless you tried. My patient with peripheral vascular disease did improve on treatment but another fellow who had failed stenting and failed bypass was not helped ..maybe because of what the surgeon said.
You need not attend the seminar just bring your mum during a break time or after we finished.Remind me when the date is closer, you know where to find me

12:53 AM  

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