Aiyoh Stories From Bed 26.
I wrote this from the hospital.
Story I
Went out breakfast with Yamtuan at Restoran Haslam. (Yes, yes, I was there because I hope to bump into the Datuk Yusof Haslam and make him star-struck by all my pesona bintang and so I get the pleasure to turn down his offer to star with Awie. I am eyeing for the leading role in Sepet II with Mawi, so of course I have to say no to Datuk.) It just so happened that the place is famous for nasi lemak ayam goreng and what with it being so near to GHKL, of course having breakfast there makes perfect sense.
Had my big plate of nasi lemak with ayam goreng. Tapau kuih some more. A girl must stock up for puasa la, that’s why la. Paid the bills and ready to go.
Car wouldn’t start. Aiyoh.
Yamtuan opened the front there, you know, where the engine is? Checked battery. All okay. We should have used Duracell ya? I joked but Yamtuan wasn’t in the mood. Car wouldn’t start, not funny. But radio lights all okay, so cannot be battery lah.
Called the workshop in Serdang Raya. Too far. He suggested another workshop nearer to tempat kejadian.
And while I was standing outside peering into the engine like I know what I was looking for, the engine started. Opocotmak indeed. Yamtuan was grinning.
‘How u repair? Wah so terrorist..’ I asked him, my hero that one.
He said, he forgot, the gear was at reverse. That was why the car wouldn’t start lah.
Oh. Like that.
Story II
It was past midnight. A young patient walked past the nurses’ station with a friend or family member i dont know. She had IV drip on one arm and walked aided. Face grimacing with every step. She was heading to the toilet.
A nurse and a doctor (and me) watched her painful procession.
‘Uh, wassat on the floor?’ the doctor.
‘dripping from patient.’ She added.
Nurse squinted.
‘Blood!’
‘Patient bleeding!’
The doctor got up and off she ran to the right. The nurse scooted to the left towards the toilet. At the toilet door, the friend/family stopped the nurse and whispered something to her. Her face changed.
‘Doctor!’ she called out.
‘Yep! I am getting the sample bottle’ answered the doctor from don’t-know-where.
‘Patient datang bulan lah!’
And instead of giving the patient sample bottles, the nurse gave sanitary napkins instead.
Aiyoh… drama one kind!
Story III
It was late. I couldn’t sleep. An elderly patient from Bed 22 was calling the nurse, ‘Misi! Misi!’ but nobody responded. She called and called and called. Monotonous, continuous.
‘Misi! Misi!’
‘Misi! Misi!’
'Misi! Misi!'
I couldn’t tahan. So I went to her.
‘Ah Soh mau apa?’
‘Saya mau tidur’ she answered.
‘oh okay, tidurlah’
And Ah Soh went to sleep.
Aiyoh. Makes sense isn’t it?
I declare myself Florence Nightingle.
Story III
The night was interrupted with a loud wail.
‘Ayoooooo, mati lah katak!’ Hah? Can you repeat that please? ‘Mati katak’ or ‘mati kakak’?
Another elderly patient was making all the ruckus. This time Bed 20.
‘Tolong! Janganlah ikat tangan saya! Bukak! Bukak!’
A nurse went to her side and shook the lady gently. ‘Cuba tengok tangan? Tak ada ikat pon?’
‘Oh ya.’ And went back to sleep.
Hehehe.. wonder what her dream was. Handcuffed? Oooooo… Wonder who the captor was. Hehehe.. naughty auntie!
Story IV
Not much of a story here. Except an interesting character came in. Beautiful face and perfect body. Hair dyed and face made up nicely. Her name was something like that of a porn star, heeere's ....Literatus Gemma! Nice ya? All her visitors were either police or blacks. Curious me. Maybe they ARE shooting a porn movie? You know, things DO happen in hospitals.
Story V
I helped wheel Mak to MRI room. Parked her near the reception table and sat down. A makchik from Perak was there waiting too. Her husband, a penghulu in one Perak's district was waiting to be MRI-ed just like my Mak. I looked at the uncle and my heart stopped, i swear. He looked almost exactly like my late father.
Aiyoh, can you beleive it? I cried. Haha..
And i told the makchik why because i must, she was alarmed.
'Oh, makchik pon baru nak bertanya. Muka awak ni saling tak tumpah dengan muka anak sedara pakchik. Anak abang sulung dia. Nanti makchik cakap dengan pakchik ya?'
I actually avoided the pakchik after that. I didnt want him to feel awkward. And i didnt want to cry again.
Oh well.
Story I
Went out breakfast with Yamtuan at Restoran Haslam. (Yes, yes, I was there because I hope to bump into the Datuk Yusof Haslam and make him star-struck by all my pesona bintang and so I get the pleasure to turn down his offer to star with Awie. I am eyeing for the leading role in Sepet II with Mawi, so of course I have to say no to Datuk.) It just so happened that the place is famous for nasi lemak ayam goreng and what with it being so near to GHKL, of course having breakfast there makes perfect sense.
Had my big plate of nasi lemak with ayam goreng. Tapau kuih some more. A girl must stock up for puasa la, that’s why la. Paid the bills and ready to go.
Car wouldn’t start. Aiyoh.
Yamtuan opened the front there, you know, where the engine is? Checked battery. All okay. We should have used Duracell ya? I joked but Yamtuan wasn’t in the mood. Car wouldn’t start, not funny. But radio lights all okay, so cannot be battery lah.
Called the workshop in Serdang Raya. Too far. He suggested another workshop nearer to tempat kejadian.
And while I was standing outside peering into the engine like I know what I was looking for, the engine started. Opocotmak indeed. Yamtuan was grinning.
‘How u repair? Wah so terrorist..’ I asked him, my hero that one.
He said, he forgot, the gear was at reverse. That was why the car wouldn’t start lah.
Oh. Like that.
Story II
It was past midnight. A young patient walked past the nurses’ station with a friend or family member i dont know. She had IV drip on one arm and walked aided. Face grimacing with every step. She was heading to the toilet.
A nurse and a doctor (and me) watched her painful procession.
‘Uh, wassat on the floor?’ the doctor.
‘dripping from patient.’ She added.
Nurse squinted.
‘Blood!’
‘Patient bleeding!’
The doctor got up and off she ran to the right. The nurse scooted to the left towards the toilet. At the toilet door, the friend/family stopped the nurse and whispered something to her. Her face changed.
‘Doctor!’ she called out.
‘Yep! I am getting the sample bottle’ answered the doctor from don’t-know-where.
‘Patient datang bulan lah!’
And instead of giving the patient sample bottles, the nurse gave sanitary napkins instead.
Aiyoh… drama one kind!
Story III
It was late. I couldn’t sleep. An elderly patient from Bed 22 was calling the nurse, ‘Misi! Misi!’ but nobody responded. She called and called and called. Monotonous, continuous.
‘Misi! Misi!’
‘Misi! Misi!’
'Misi! Misi!'
I couldn’t tahan. So I went to her.
‘Ah Soh mau apa?’
‘Saya mau tidur’ she answered.
‘oh okay, tidurlah’
And Ah Soh went to sleep.
Aiyoh. Makes sense isn’t it?
I declare myself Florence Nightingle.Story III
The night was interrupted with a loud wail.
‘Ayoooooo, mati lah katak!’ Hah? Can you repeat that please? ‘Mati katak’ or ‘mati kakak’?
Another elderly patient was making all the ruckus. This time Bed 20.
‘Tolong! Janganlah ikat tangan saya! Bukak! Bukak!’
A nurse went to her side and shook the lady gently. ‘Cuba tengok tangan? Tak ada ikat pon?’
‘Oh ya.’ And went back to sleep.
Hehehe.. wonder what her dream was. Handcuffed? Oooooo… Wonder who the captor was. Hehehe.. naughty auntie!
Story IV
Not much of a story here. Except an interesting character came in. Beautiful face and perfect body. Hair dyed and face made up nicely. Her name was something like that of a porn star, heeere's ....Literatus Gemma! Nice ya? All her visitors were either police or blacks. Curious me. Maybe they ARE shooting a porn movie? You know, things DO happen in hospitals.
Story V
I helped wheel Mak to MRI room. Parked her near the reception table and sat down. A makchik from Perak was there waiting too. Her husband, a penghulu in one Perak's district was waiting to be MRI-ed just like my Mak. I looked at the uncle and my heart stopped, i swear. He looked almost exactly like my late father.
Aiyoh, can you beleive it? I cried. Haha..
And i told the makchik why because i must, she was alarmed.
'Oh, makchik pon baru nak bertanya. Muka awak ni saling tak tumpah dengan muka anak sedara pakchik. Anak abang sulung dia. Nanti makchik cakap dengan pakchik ya?'
I actually avoided the pakchik after that. I didnt want him to feel awkward. And i didnt want to cry again.
Oh well.
posted by OOD at 6:51 PM
15 Comments:
Ood,
Ur blog, I like. First time posting comment & dapat potong reben plak tuu. he he
Seingatnyerlaa.
Story 1 , hehe.
Slalu cam nih kalu yang auto tuh.
Story II to III
Cer bayang kan if we do this everyday. Sampai contracted some deadly disease. That was 8 taun dulu laa.
Small fan.
It's amazing you can find humour in such settings, but your stories ... so funny!
Agaknya that Ah Soh is the type yang kena announce dulu apa yang dia nak buat (nawaitu dia) baru boleh buat the intended deed :)
Story #1: Ok apa, berlakon dengan Awi? kehkehkeh... :P
Misi! eh silap. Kakak! your Story #3 terdouble la! :p
it's good that you can find humour in the walls of a hospital! aisey..kalau SepetII with MAWI, siapa yang sepet?? If jadi, I wanna be the adibah noor ganti in the movie? recommend kan I ok?
why serdang raya, do you lived there meh?
Ood, masa I kerja kat hospital dulu, gitulah character2 and episode2 yang ada. Bila dah hari hari kat hospital, dah jadi lali. When I was on e.o.d call I was so exhausted, these events just passed unnoticed and no more humor then :) Itu tak masuk lagi apek at the surgical ward who kept on saying "nang bo tinang, kui bo ti kui", heheh
btw: good to see you back, up and about! Alhamdulillah you managed to start work at new place and already feeling at home :)
u ni kan ood, super lawak! hope mak is better.
OOD tipu - ada dua story III and i like the first story III.
very funny lah you!
ood: you make day to day living interesting :) I hope your mak is getting better esp when u r around
i ni mcm soap opera General Hospital on channel 5 kat SF jer! hehehehe....too funny ur story!
Ely, General Hospital still ada ke? That soap must be one of the longest running. I was a die-hard fan back in the 80's.
queenofthehouse, yeah well...reruns of GH. now its the 'all my children' fever.
Ood,
I didn't you're melatah. Very funny.
tuan yang terutama jokontan,
potong reben, lepaskan merpati dan tabur beras kuning!!
Tepuk! Tepuk!
terima kasih tuan!
queenofthehouse,
not only must she make a niat, others must give consent to her hajat! Poor ah soh!
hana kirana,
alah... i roman number tak mahir. Itulah pasal cikgu.. (awas je mata tu ya?)
anedra,
ye tak ye, someone GOTTA be sepet kan? ok loh change loh, PESET boleh?
nohachomel,
tidak tidak... i used to work in that area. So hubby sent the car service and all over there.
dr.house,
nang botinang haw haw haw! Itu bahasa cina yang sah ke bahasa p.ramlee?
oh, most doctors i met there semuanya stress gilebab. Ridiculous working hours! Two MO actually told me they regretted choosing the line and 1 said she wanted to resign!
nazrah,
i gotta find a reason to smile kalotidak... entahlah.
kak teh,
alahhhh... kakteh pon macam hana kirana, matanya sungguh awas!
shidah,
ha ha, mak is not in the mood to laugh! Now where is Dr Iskandar the Clown when we need one?
Ely,
i dont watch the show. But i like Scrubs. And i was so reminded of Blue Scrubber when mak was anaesthesised. There was this one doctor i swear fit the image i had of her!
anasalwa,
the opocotmakkau bit ya? melatah.. no lah! ;o)
Your stories are so amusing except for the last one... I enjoy tremendously!
OOD! Hantar gambar! Nak tengoklah how u look like! ;D
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