Monday, June 13, 2005

The Wedding

My wedding was nothing like Ujang's. Mine was a very simple affair. If i had it my way, we would not even have the bersanding and berdulang. Maybe not even the nasi minyak whatnots. The simpler the better, i thought and Yamtuan too readily agreed.

Yamtuan's brother, Ujang is different story altogether. His wedding was on such a grand scale. Theories why it became such a big event.
1. Maybe because Ujang is 38 and had 3 broken engagements before, and EG is 36 so their union is an event that both families were really looking forward too.
2. The families are neighbors. It had been such a long time since the kampung had its last arranged marriage from within the kampung. All the old folks were excited at the prospect of having a procession between the two houses - just like the old times.
3. Both families are adat-strong. One Selemak and the other, uppish suku Biduanda.

I was ultra excited too. I have always been a stickler for adat, budaya and language. I so looked forward to a proper pepatih wedding.

Nikah was to be done at the kampung's mosque. But Ujang was to wait at home for the bride's representative to come invite him over. And so we waited at home. Ujang with his light yellow baju melayu and the rest of us in our best baju kurung and head covers. We had 'lelangit' ready in one corner in the living room. A pink piece of fabric were hung up high covering the ceiling and there were skirtings as well to cover half the walls. A 'peminangan' was put underneath it. Peminangan is really just a set of tepak sirih. It looks very old, solid brass i think. Must have been handed down over many generations.

And then they arrived, with keris and their own set of peminangan. Sirihs were shared and chewed diligently and the bride's family asked whether Ujang would honor his promise. I think, at this point, no one in his right mind would dare change his mind, what with the keris and the misai and the muscles of the men sent.

At the mosque, proper ayats were recited and the Imam read from a book, 'dan takutlah kamu kepado Tuhan kamu dengan setakut-takutnyo, sesungguhnyo, Dio lah yang etc etc...'
And so Ujang wed kak EG, with janji bersaksi, ijab berwali.

That night they had a berinai ceremony, complete with caklempong and pantun/puisi recited spontaneously in the beautiful language of 'o'. I love it! I love it!

For bersanding the next day at EG's place, all the Undangs attended too. Twelve flags, for each of the twelve suku(s) were erected. The twelve flags were sandwiched by two lembings. The lembings were most interesting to me. There were locks of real human hair tied to the lembings near the blade! I asked Yamtuan the story behind the lembings and the flags but he could not answer. Were the kampung folk cannibals? Whose hair is that? Why?

Bersanding ceremony at our place, the female members of EG's family came in their baju kurung and samping songket. Interesting. After the tepung tawar and all, there was a 'menyombah' session ~ Ujang introduced his bride to all the female members in his family. For each, there were gifts of penganan ~ dodol and wajik.

I love it. I love it.

'bang, kenapa kenduri kita tak macam ni? Takde keris, lembing, bendera, undang, penganan?'
'kau oghang takdo suku'
'anak kita suku tak?'
'nak masuk suku, ado adat eh. Kono berkadim. Budak-budak masuk suku, kau soghang takdo suku'
'mini boleh kadim-kadim tak?'
'tak buleh. kalo nak kono bosunat laie.'

Ohhhhh, maybe not lah hoh?


Blogger Ely said...

wah i like, i like ur story! could just imagine attending kenduri kawin again.

i know, when we attend such grand wedding, terasa pulak apasal kita dulu tak buat camtuh eh?

tapikan, yang penting, perkahwinan berkekalan hinnga ke akhir hayat!

8:09 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

hahaha, OOD, u dont want that 'bersunat' do you? Read a wedding nightmare at

1:13 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

OOD, wah syok cite wedding ni. Real traditional stuff. Ado ambik gambo dak tu heh? Lotak lah sikit kek blog ni, boleh den dgn kawan2 nengok tu.

1:29 AM  
Blogger Sang Kelate said...

rrive here via's AG's, Nice blog will certainly visit again.


2:41 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

Maso ese kawin dulu, takdo do kibar-kibar bendero macam ni. Ese ni 50% Minang jugak. Baru lah ese tahu kenapo undang semuo tak dapek mak ese jomput?

Kono sunat dulu ko?

5:14 AM  
Blogger Susan Abraham said...

"ULTRA-EXCITED??" Ooh...ood!

6:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First time here . Definitely will visit again .

Mrs. Amd

5:36 PM  
Blogger faux diamante said...

suko bona ati ese lah nndonga an bondo-bondo beradek ni. tersonyum dibuek eh.

patut bona lah dibuek cen nia seslalu. kok tak teghengkoh dik undang ramai naa lak oghang bergolek nak nnjompot yo?

6:05 PM  
Anonymous atenah said...

ooooo me speaking broken noghoghi so me no comment

7:51 PM  
Blogger MassyLassy said...

Wah! Besar-besaran and penug adat istiadat! Malangnya kita kat Singpore, the Malay wedding are not as elaborate as one's in Malaysia which I find more interesting and like I say penug dengan Adat Istiadat! Maybe segelintir ajer but not many!

Tak ader gambar to go along with the story?

2:42 AM  
Blogger MA said...

Reminded me of when me and my frens gatecrashed a royal wedding in tampin many years ago (one of my frens was the maid of honour - she pulak pergi ajak we all ni menempel / meneman dia). since we moved freely kat dapur istana - the servants semua panggil kami ni "engku". hahahha

perasan jadi anak raja kejap.

4:04 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

if only can have weddding every weekend..

Kak Teh,
Tobat tak nak sunat lagi, .. pedih! Hehe.. kak cik's horror story i have read. Semoga she doesnt ever have to jejak kaki in melaka again, boleh muntah darah wo.

Aunty N,
i wish i could put up pictures. Especially the flags. Macam red indian punya! Berjurai2.

Sang Kelate,
heyho you. Thanks for singgah. AG never answered my question you know...

10:57 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

Yamtuan kato, tak dapek elak do, kono sunat. Lopeh tu, potong urat nadi, menari keliling api. Baghu buleh masuk suku.

u cakap the language of 'o', my mouth gapes the shape of 'o'. Lopong!

what to say, i am ultragirl.

Mrs Amd,
heyho you!

11:02 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

i like Penang, Kedah, kelantan, Trengganu, NS languages all. I am but from Johor. Over there, we speak ehem.. proper bahasa malaysia.

even in malaysia the elaborate adats have been compromised with. Telur that is supposed to symbolise fertility has been taken over by the easier to give sweets and sumi jellies. a lot other stuff also, which is SO sayang, you know.. but i am also guilty of having a simple ceremony.

Mak Engku Andeh,
ayuhai bonda! Bags anakanda dah ready, bila kita nak pegi holiday (flutter flutter eyelids)?

11:13 PM  
Blogger shidah said...

i've attended one kenduri like this, dokek pilah ghumah atuk sedagho den...... terasa macam dalam filem.....

11:28 PM  
Blogger esorkopi said...

namo standard dia seri lemak bukan selemak. pronounce as selomak.

11:43 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

OOD anak sedara ku(while awaiting confirmation), AG did reply - go and see his posting. He mentioned you in the post after that what...

12:53 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

Oteh (hehe),
oh okay, dah baca dah, tengok takde reply kat situ merajuk lah tak baca hok lain. Ok, dah gembira dah.

the REAL anedra

1:19 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

ko oghang pilah? waghih!!!

selomak yo? Sowiiii..

1:21 AM  
Blogger Jade said...

nice one... sampai tak tau nak letak comment aper.. hehe.. kasi gambar lembing tu sket...

1:24 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

ok! OOD/the REal Anedra(as u claim)..
We found your hideout at last!! Since you did not answer the questions on ANEDRA's blog but instead showed us your fists. In search of the tuth and to clear doubt, you shall be given one more chance. Answer the questions below.

How does OTEH pronounce


If you can answer this, you shall be exempted of any DNA test for further verification AND of that bum check that OTEH intends to do on you and ANEDRA.

And upon correctly answering thse questions, ANEDRA shall by default be "disowned" by OTEH and FAMILY.


8:43 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

OOD, kalo sunat tu, ese raso takdo masaalah do. Ni nak tanyo, maso menari keliling api tu, pakai apo-apo tak?

the real REAL anedra

8:54 AM  

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