Sunday, May 15, 2005

Adek Pendek’s Potentiometer.

If you remember your physics from high school, you will know that potential energy, PE is calculated as,
PE = mgh where:
m = mass/weight;
g = gravity i.e a constant, unless you move to other planets;
h = height.

When I was a baby, people would take one look at my legs (don’t know why) and pronounce knowingly, ‘this one is going to be a tall girl.’ Their prediction came out to be half true; I did grow up to be a girl albeit a not-tall one. You think Sheila Majid is short? Well, I am ONE inch shorter than her. Who do you think plays Edna in The Incredibles, dahling? Who do you think plays Smeagol in LOTR, my precioussssss? Yoda, one wonders, is who?

When I was in primary school, people look at my slender self and think I would grow to be someone that even pencils would be jealous of. I proved them wrong. Now I look at the door and envy its shape. And when my two-year-old daughter announced to her uncles that, ‘bontot mummy besarrr’ with so much pride I could not even describe to you how kembang that made me feel.

When I was in my teens, my mother thought I was beauty queen material (don’t all mothers?). She thought I had the potential to one day, grace the covers of magazines, marry a rich fashion designer, be called Datin, have one very spoilt son and go to heaven. (Sorry Mak, I never made it to the magazines and your son-in-law is colour blind. I am sorry too that I already have two kids (and lost my waist in the process). Yamtuan will probably be Datuk one day but it comes with ‘nenek’ instead of ‘datin’. I can still try to enter heaven though... if you can just forgive me for all this disappointment.)

When I was doing my diploma, many lecturers told me, ‘you have much potential. You will go very far.’ This turns out to be true. I have been to Perlis for my sister’s wedding and Johor Bharu for my convocation. Very far indeed.

I am still waiting for the potentials to realize themselves.

For that, I need to have constant increase in potential energy. The thing is, at this veteran age of mine, I don’t think I will grow any taller. Being an Asian woman, who’s only mode of exercising is spooning herself during mealtimes, I am bound to get osteoporosis thus will be shorter once I reach menopause age. So ‘height, h’ has a tendency to get smaller and ‘gravity, g’ is a constant, unless of course the moon is made habitable. If my maths is correct, I need to improve on the ‘mass, m’, it is my last bet. But, because I don’t have the height to stack all the extra kilos, I will seem shorter as I become heavier. Never mind. I am after all in R&D. When my Yamtuan complaints that I have become too heavy for him to twirl and swirl, my answer is, I am getting fat for science.

Oh, fat is a wrong word. I am womanly, dahling!


Blogger Kak Teh said...

veteran age eh? no, lets not even get into that! i just went to an evening with The alley cats...that's how old i am! and while looking in he shops to see what clothes to buy the occassion, i realised that they dont make clothes for my age a(or size and shape) anymore! very sad!

11:14 PM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Aunty pun kemetot jugak lah. Bila badan dah naik after 4 daughters ni lagilah kemetot tu. So, if ever I am going to grace the magazine cover it would be as makcik2 issue lah aje tu.

11:17 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

Kak Teh,
nengok gambar blur nampak trang-tangtang lagi!!!

nak try jugak diet macam aunty tu. Kot bila ukurlilit n isipadu berkurang, nampak lah tinggi sikit, kan? Macam Nasha Aziz ye Aunty?

11:02 PM  
Blogger hana_kirana said...

hehehe.. lawak la entries di blog ni... Ayyoo.. I thot Sheila Majid tu dah kecik (sopan sikit dari pendek, ops!) sangat dah!

9:25 AM  

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