The Ten Queues
Compliments are a form of gifts. And as any gifts, the pleasure of giving is equivalent if not more to receiving. I know this. I get a high from giving too. Priceless. It is just that I am not comfortable being a recipient of gifts especially when they are in the form of compliments. Makes me awkward, and embarrassed and downright uncomfortable.
I was chatting online with Intan, my school friend, yesterday. We were discussing blogs. And she mentioned how Atenah’s and BlueScrubber’s are spots that she visits so regularly it is almost religious. Likewise, Intan, likewise. Some spots I visit for the humor (eg.Hana Kirana & Artco & Leen Ashburn etc), some for their experience (all of the makciks), some for the beauty of the language (Maya & Susan & Tuang AG etc) and some for their wisdom (Atenah & BlueScrubber etc), some for their different perspective on things (Aisehman etc) and the rest simply because I like the sincerity, the warmth and the champagne-bubbliness of their personalities that just tickles my senses. I am in wonderland alright.
And then Intan said something nice about my spot. Luckily she was thousands of miles away so she was spared from seeing me squirm and shift and shuffle shuffle my feet. And as usual, I could not receive the compliments aka gifts as gracefully as anyone should. Which I think is rude. I too would be hurt if my gift is thrown back at me. I wouldn’t want to be deprived of the pleasure of giving too. And I know that a ‘thank you’ when complimented is not a sign of perasangitis. The art of saying ‘thank you’ should be taught in school!
I am sorry Intan. Thank you for the compliments. I don’t think I am deserving of it but I am flattered that you think I do.
The other day, a friend complimented how I looked. ‘You look nice today.’
Instead of a simple thank you and a smile I responded by saying, ‘Airbrush effect je tu.’
When hubby said, ‘Cantiknya mini abang’, I would say something about how rabun he must be or how biased he is or how perasan.
When omak-in-law said something nice about my culinary skills and speed, I would steer her away from the subject and started rambling about the prices of chicken and fish!
Maybe because I was once involved in a very emotionally abusive relationship, I handled abuse better. Make fun of my hair, laugh at my shape, poke jokes at my work, throw dirt to my door, I can handle, but niceties?
Maybe I lack that specific genetic code, CGAT*empty*CGAT which function is to make one accepts gifts with a simple ‘thank you’ and to not doubt the sincerity when kindness is offered.
Maybe my brain is damaged left right center so I have not the skill to accept sweetness gracefully.
Maybe I am just plain rude. An ingrate. With a heart so dark and mind so warped and screwed up. Frankenstein at its clumsiest.
Haiya… all this, just to say thank you for all the nice things that anybody ever thought/said/given to me.
Haiya, so difficult.
Thank You and Smile.
posted by OOD at 10:40 PM
18 Comments:
You are welcome.... :)
The pleasure is mine. One must always acknowledge when one is good. One thing I learn from here is that when you are good, admit it.
hahaha...airbrush effect....like that! too bad i can't use it..(tak de sape nak compliment muka ana)
anyway....hope u don't mind one more compliment from me...your blog...is # 1 on my "MUST READ" list...thank you ood.
OOD, nanti bila dah letak banner baru nak puji. La ni nak simpan dulu puji tu tau...
Like your friend said, you are good, just feel good about yourself OK.. Nobody's perfect anyway, why worry?
darlingest OOOD,
You're GOOD. You're VERY GOOD and honestly, your blog is one of my faves and a hot topic of discussion between me and my..oklah, OUR aunt! I'd love to meet you in person someday.
Now go squirm!
ish ish ish, need i say??? I always discuss with AG your sense of humour.
and abt not being able to accept compliments - that's very malaysian, asian. A friend of mine who has been mixing around too much with malaysians, was complimented on her dress. she replied: no lah, i bought this at the charity shop. look at this tear!
sometimes it is a way of saying thank you.... (I guess). but , really I enjoy reading your blog too.....
ood, dah jgn nak eksen, u know that ur blog is always filled with humor. nvr fails to make me laff. so this means that u're so good!!!
i am like u too. when i just moved here and married to my husband, i did not know how to say Thank you but try to brush the compliment away. so now, i have to get use to saying thank you with a smile.
hk is hana kirana ke? hong kong? han kisaac? hang kuah? ;o) Herima Kasih.
anonymous I & II,
thank you the very very mucho.
aunty N,
thank you. i tepuk you for free okay?
anedra,
am suddenly fascinated by my feet. What big toes i have! And the habuk on the lantai. (shuffle shuffle squirm squirm)
kak teh,
that shore sounds like she stole my line! People commented i look younger than my age, i would show them my fine wrinkles. People commented that i dont look like a mom of two, i showed them my tummy with full technicolor! Self-bashing kan?
Shidah,
thanks a load. You know i am your stalker, i hope?
Ely,
i check your counter, not bad at all, girl!
All,
i wrote this piece NOT to fish for compliments. But all the nice things that you put here, alahai... SOMEBODY PULL ME DOWN RIGHT NOW (takut i terlanggar kapalterbang, dok floating ni!) :o) thank you.
psst.. kak teh, hari ni try photobucket. Berjaya! Pandainyiea!
Ood : Like KT says, its the Melayu in you (and the rest of us) that find it hard to handle compliment. Sbb it is EXPECTED of us to sort of brush it off. Konon-kononnya tata susila etc.
Kalau we acknowledge it - is is deemed as "perasan" - but hey, we should be proud of who we are kan - warts and all- nobody is perfect, but there are still goodness in all of us.
And YOU, are good.
Keep up the humour.
(you know we Johorean shud stick together-gedder)
:-)
Ood,
I'm going to say this:
"Ood, you're so funny. I like your sense of humor."
and I would like you to say it so you can hear your own voice:
"I know."
You have no idea how good it makes you feel...........
hak ha hrq, wah tersedak i baru nak hirup minum teh tarik....rupanya ada org sebut2. abt religiously reading my blog tu, i ni pun religiously blogging, kalau tak blog satu hari rasa cam tak jumpa friends plak. yes, Kak Teh is right, you have a wicked sense of humor.
Mak Andeh,
thank you (VERY much).
Hubby mengeluh, 'when i say you pretty i dont mean you are PRETTIEST in the world, i just mean of all my wives you are prettiest and i only have ONE wife, it's not a big deal at all pon'. Ye lah.. itu pon susah sangat. To not accept is actually more perasan than accepting!
(Yes, yes, Johorean are WORLD yes?)
Anasalwa,
i read your comment twice and everytime meremang bulu roma, i swear! I did not say 'i know' out loud pon. Kalu i say, dont know whaaaaat will meremang (and dont want to find out).
Thanks.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
i stop in your blog becuse the image of the girl i thought you suppose to talk about the movie... but no. So... later!
Watekeop,
i am a HUGE fan of Hotaru No Haka!! Must one day write about it!
everyone blogs for a reason.. some to share.. some to vent.. and some just to tag along. each blog is unique in its own way.. just like you and me :)
Thank you for your new friendship Ood. Thank you very much.
*love*
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