Monday, June 20, 2005

Left Right Wrong

I am of age. I can tell right from wrong. Knee-high boots are wrong for kebaya and eggs are wrong for spaghetti bolognaise. I know stilettos are wrong for sprinting (or walking, it's just a plain cruel invention) and big alleycat hairdos are wrong for Y2k. I know geek-y thick rimmed glasses are right right now and rimless glasses are so not. I know punk-y accessories are in. I am 'mumayyiz' alright. I know the rights and I know the wrongs.

But I cant tell right from left.

I was watching Fear Factor last night. It was Couple Fear Factor or something. The man was supposed to drive a car up on a ramp onto a moving trailer. The catch was he was to drive blindfolded. The woman was to give instructions to the driver as to how to get the car up and on the trailer.

Couple 1
‘Left! Left!’ and the man swerved to the right.
‘I said left!’ she screamed high pitch. We are talking US1 million here babe. I would be hysterical too. And the blind (aka stupid) went further to the right.
‘LEFT!’ I think she was about to smack him on the head.
Now the man didn’t take orders from a lesser gender, no ma’am. He did not appreciate being hollered at, especially when he was following instructions. By now they were out of the highway, stranded in a wetland beside it.
‘THIS IS LEFT’ he screamed back, this time waving his left hand.
‘I KNOW THAT IS YOUR LEFT HAND BUT YOU WERE GOING RIGHT!’ Right.

Couple 2
During the interview with the host (Joe Rogan issit?).
‘I have to teach my husband again which is left and which is right. Our 3-year old would have done better.’ There you go.

Couple 3, 4, 5, 6
Almost all of the men were not able to tell the direction they were going when they were blindfolded.

Me? I cant tell left from right even when I am NOT blindfolded.

Dot was sitting infront of me. I was offering her some fruits. And as she was about to reach for a piece, I noticed that she was using the wrong hand.
‘Hah, use your right hand!’ A garang mommy in action.
And Dot quickly switched to the other hand only to have Yamtuan screamed back at me.
‘She WAS using the right hand!’
Oh… sowiii..

A friend was coming over to our house and she called me for directions.
‘After the traffic light you turn right. Go straight until you see a Petronas. Turn left. About 100 metres ahead you will see our compound on your right.’
She couldn’t find my place. I got all the left-right wrong.

I always use the right hand when I eat and the left hand to clean toilets. That has become a habit, so no problem there. But I get confused very easily. It takes a conscious effort to tell left from right. I cant tell if you are using your right hand or your left hand if you are sitting in front of me. I can tell better if you are beside me. I have to face the direction to be able to read the map.

When I was little, I had difficulty telling a ‘b’ from a ‘d’. My mom would have a jug of water ready for every lesson. She would pour the water on me everytime I get it wrong.; which was all the time. It helped. I grew out of the confusion and so I learnt my alphabet the aqua way.

But I still can’t tell left from right.

Mak, pour some water on me (def leppard).

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you should be thankful...not able to differentiate left from right is not so bad. my nephew (18years old) get everything/everyone terbalik:-
dia nak kata "isteri dia"..dia kata "sumai dia"
nak kata "belakang rumah"...kata"depan rumah"..etc..etc..
the whole household jadi "pening" kalau dia ambil message...

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

..see??? i sendiri pun dok ter"balik"..its "suami" not "sumai"....sowiii

8:45 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

i hereby namakan your nephew 'Yoda' pasai cakap tebalik ~ Jedi palinggg senior!

8:57 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

OOD, u are so like me!! I cant tell left fr right either - that's why i failed driving tets!! and once jalan dengan AG, he said, we turn right here - and there we parted company!! wah...i also suffer from spoonerism. go read my blog under Dear Blaba...
wah..may be you are my real niece!

9:04 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

cissss..KakTeh! How could you??

OOD, I have this problem too. U see, I am N's co-pilot. When we get to a junction, I say turn LEFT, but raise my right hand and point to the RIGHT instead, and vice versa. The poor guy will get confused and thecar swerves from left to right, until he decides for himself what to do! This is a "bahan gaduh" if you know what I mean. Nasib baik tak accident!!

10:09 PM  
Blogger Ely said...

i can nvr tell my husband whats left and right, why? cos he so ego (mintak ampun laki aku!). jadikan kalau nak kasi dia direction, i would say,'I think its right here (tunjuk itu jari ke kanan)'. that would also prevent myself fm saying right but showing to the left.

eh i nak tanya, kepada sesapa yang memandu tuh, kalau baca direction kata left u turn right tak? hehehe

10:44 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

tumpang nak comment kat Ely OOD?

Ely, well at my driving school, memang macam tu dia ajar! Kalau left, must turn right! Betul!

And OOD: Rasanya, boleh tumpang tak kena siram dgn yr mum?

10:57 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

Kak Teh,
just read that piece you wrote. Hilarious! I dont drive too. Guess we all know why (when asked i usually answer, i dont drive for the environment... you know pollutants kan?)

psst.. told you i am the real anedra.

Anedra,
me also selalu kena in the car. I say 'left'. He asks back because i always salah, 'left?' i said 'right!' and he turns right. I say 'left lah dol' and he says 'but u said right! Lobai!'..

Like Ely said lah, sign language is easier. Marriage councillor mahal beb...

My momsee is good at water treatment. She is The Inventor. How do you like your water? Hot? Cold? Or in a cup?

11:10 PM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Semua dah basah kuyup kena simbah air kat sini no? I'm driving so kalau drive dgn hubby, kena bagi sign language jugak. Yang marah anak2 pasal salah tangan tu pun ada jadi jugak. Tapi kadang2 hubby pun ada masalah cam tu jugak. So not unik to women. Atau pun i have more male hormone than him and vice versa *hmmm*

3:19 AM  
Blogger Ely said...

anedra, itu driving instructor tak betul kot ajar u ckp kanan tapi tunjuk kiri? hehehe

ah dengarlah ckp si Ely ngan auntyN kita, sign language pakai lagi bagus...betul tak OOD? hehe

6:35 AM  
Blogger Jade said...

hehe.. tumpang sekaki.. coz i have the same 'defect' too.. hehe.. mulut kata left, tangan tunjuk to the right. then, my friend akan stop kan kereta and ask, which way again? hehe..

5:37 PM  
Blogger stillconfuse said...

OOO PATUTLA AKU SELALU "TURN RIGHT, EH SORI LEFT"

9:41 PM  
Blogger hogtied said...

i can tell left from right..but not back from front!

10:55 PM  
Blogger Gunn said...

Very interesting.. I dont know wat to say.. it sounds so common now.. I think its not a defect anymore..
All of u are OK.. I think I have the defect now.. :p

12:20 AM  
Blogger MA said...

Hmm..the confusion between "b" and "d" sounds like dyslexia to me.

Left and Right ? Moi ? no problemo.

:-)

12:30 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

auntie N, hogtied, anne75, gunn, ladyjade,

i baca about this left-right front-back confusion ni, haha... brain damage la kot! banyak jogging kot, otak banyak gegar kot.. i have put up the article in The Sequel. Baca macam banyak pulak yang kena mengena.. Hahaha

Hogtied & Gunn,
heyho the two of you! :o)

12:32 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

Mak Andeh,
dyslexia? does that make me a genius? (Blink blink flutter flutter eyelids)

12:34 AM  
Blogger MakNenek said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:54 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home