Monday, February 04, 2008

Starry Starry Lunch

I had lunch with a star yesterday.

She’s an actress. You see her face often on tv. Soft spoken, pretty, tall, hitam manis and everything sugar and spice. As a popular person, it is only right if I name her by one letter from the alphabet, so I will call her Miss N (not her real name).

Our fathers were in the TUDM and so by default, our families were friends. Miss N was a childhood friend of my sister. My sister is only a year older than me, but at 10, she was all ladylike and grown-up. The two ten-year olds never wanted to play with me. I must have spoiled their appearance. They both had long hair, tied with ribbons that match the colour of their dresses and they both liked the mirror. I had boy-like haircut. Was always in shorts and singlets. Hated to shower. Comot like heck. I was more rumble-roll buddies with Miss N’s brother. We would be playing war and being in Sarawak that time, there were many places perfect for such game. Ambush attacks were easy to plan and how many times he killed me and how many times I have killed him in return, I have lost count. Miss N and my sis were in an entirely different world from where I was. There was no violence in their world, hehe.. plenty in mine.

I read about her once in a while in the weekend newspaper inserts. She was married to a certain rich guy, had a divorce and now being gossiped with a certain Dato’ R (bukan nama sebenar) which she vehemently denies.

Apart from occasionally reading about her, I never kept in touch. We moved from Sarawak when I was 10. I heard my parents talked about her parents occasionally – divorces, promotions, health etc. And that was it.

My mother managed to track Miss N’s mom a few years ago. And from there, my sis and Miss N started sms-ing each other.

And so when Miss N sms-ed me saying, ‘let’s do lunch, dahling’ because she was in the neighbourhood, it was only proper for me to say okay. She should have warned me earlier and i would have gone to some hospital and have plastic surgery. Not enough time to look good!

We agreed to meet at a Vietnamese restaurant near my place. I was early. A star must come late and so she was late. And oh-my oh-my, when she did appear, what an appearance it was. Huge dark glasses, very groomed, perfect hair, perfect muah-muah left and right of my cheeks and perfect way of scoffing the heat and traffic! Beside her, I felt like that 9 year old baddie comot boy-wannabe lass of yesteryear. I felt fat (I am fat), ugly (that I am), clumsy (wanna bet?) and so-very-not-glamorous-at-all!

We ordered a few dishes with rice and she probably ate 5 grains of rice AT THE MOST! I easily finished my bowlful of rice and felt bad afterwards. Beside her, I felt like kerbau pendek!

And she received many phone calls throughout lunch. From Kavita Kaur lah (nama sebenar), from a drama director lah, reporter lah etc. And the subjects she talked about were, ‘what’s the name of your fashion designer?’, ‘I like what you wore that award night’, ‘I am busy, tengah shooting kan?’ and other starry starry subject. Common comot girl didn’t receive any calls at all. The few sms-es that I did receive, was on some dry boring stuff from prune-dried people, like me (no Dr Bubbles, DITH, you did not sms me during lunch. Would have made my day!)

Later that day, when I spoke to Yamtuan, I lamented to him that I don’t get calls from the likes of Kavita Kaur. Yamtuan told me not to believe what I heard. There are many Lawyer Lingams out there, he said. I should have called him and pretended like I was talking to the President of PAPITA himself or even Angelina Jolie (Hajah Esah Jolie ke…) if I could pull it off.

Ha-ah ek? I should have.

But this I must say. Despite her being up there on the sky, twinkling beautiful and bright, she was in actual very down-to-earth. And lunch was interesting if not fun. She was after all just Miss N – a childhood friend.

And a bit gossiping here, she came with Dato R! Mwahahahaha! Mereka hanya kawan biasa sahaja. Yamtuan and i are ‘kawan biasa’ too, by the way.


Blogger Kak Teh said...

hahaha! yam tuan is right - there are many lingams about. But u cld have tipped me off and i could do a lingam anytime.

3:36 AM  
Blogger MA & Brood said...

correct, correct, correct!

When are we doing lunch? I could pull a Lingam for you too in between the poppadum.


5:28 AM  
Blogger dith said...

Yes Ood, you should have tipped us all bloggers before hand and we could have called you every second and pretend we're some VIPs who can't get enough of you! hehe

If you and Yamtuan are kawan biasa, wonder how kawan luarbiasa would be eh? hmmmm....

I still can't guess who this star is...:p

6:59 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

hehe..kawan biasa eh?

6:15 PM  
Blogger JoKontan said...

Madam Oody,

My father was also in TUDM, and so was Ms Jolie's, er I mean, Mokji 'soh.. agak-nya-la-kottt.

I thot I sms-ed you several times during the lunch-hour.

Haiyoo,.That didn't count aaa ?


MA !

Yesss, correct correct correct correct..Even Arip's saying this.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Hjh Esah Jolie said... should have given me yr mobile number and queue to call...maka, I will put my fake English accent yang bunyi nya macam biawak sosek...

Eh..cakap lah siapa dia pilim star ittew?

12:51 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

you would be perfect to do Kajol! Next time (kalau dia tak serik), u do a lingam on me, be Kajol, ok?

went to Jabatan Peguam Negara yesterday and had lunch with 3 Peguam Kanan Persekutuan. They all 'correct correct correct' me all the time! I am so correct, i must be perfect.

And i am not allowed to bring my handphone anywhere near them lawyers. Why the phone-phobic ah? Hehehe..

i knowwww! My mistake! I should have! She would probably make me her Acting Guru with all my contacts in high glittering places, plus my acing skills! I should have!

I will propose to Yamtuan, whether he would like to my my Teman Istimewa. Will report to you how extra that is compared to 'kawan biasa'.

KAWAN biasa onni. The two kids and one more on-the-way are just miraculous by-product of Yamtuan and me having many lunches together. BETUL!

Bro Jo,
oit, anak air-man jugak? Hjh pon? I didnt know! Boleh buat persatuan ni.

Sms doesnt count bro, kena call, then boleh goreng baikkkk punya!

Hjh EJ,
i receive a call from you, a true Jolie, i sure pengsan. Belum lagi dengar slang-accent-telor tu lagi!

Identiti pelakon ittew, tentulah kena dirahsiakan. Tabloid kan...

7:34 PM  
Anonymous Miss N said...

betul.. I dgn Dato' R tu kawan biasa je... kalau nampak dia pegang tangan I masa bejalan tu, tu tandanya I nak tersungkur... pegang2 kawan biasa je.. betul..

12:16 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

miss n,

hehehe hawhawhaw,

1) You CANT be Miss N - she's not that funny. And she only reads URTV and Hai and the likes. I know i know! You are The Lingam himself!

2) Agree, tugas lelaki bukankah memimpin kaum wanita? But (if you ARE her) why would you be unstable on your feet? Only when around him or what?

12:53 AM  
Blogger Nazrah said...

awak...awak ok dak?

kiter ok... just not online very often.

love this story...very juicy!

1:06 AM  

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