Opera Cinta

I am a kepochi.

You know, on 12 Dec, I took leave. I had Alumni Dinner that night and the group asked me to help find one particular cikgu. I was the only link to the missing cikgu simply because I went to his house some ten years ago. I couldn’t remember where that house was, even which taman. I only know it was in Kajang. 10 years ago. Houses get renovated, trees grow. Landscapes changed. It was a Mission Impossible.

BUT, I managed to find the cikgu. At Hospital Kajang’s morgue, I kid you not. But that is another story. This story has the kind of romance that rivals that of Romeo and Juliet. Get ready with your handkerchiefs.

Ok.

After the episode with cikgu at Rumah Mayat, my friend dropped me off at Bukit Jalil LRT station. I wanted to go Midvalley and so took the LRT from there to Bandar Tasik Selatan’s station. Even as the LRT entered the station, even from that distance, I could see a couple locked in embrace at the Komuter station (next to LRT station). Maybe it’s a wrong word to use – it wasn’t an embrace. It was more like she draped herself over him and he couldn’t peel her off. Never mind.

I disembarked from LRT, went outside the station, bought myself some slices of mango and a packet of maruku. Then went to Komuter and they were still glued together, on the stairs. Aiyah, so chenta chenta laidet. Looking at them, you know it wasnt a heaty kind of embrace, it was a desperate cling like he was going to war and she would be left alone - ohh.

But just as I got near them, the girl collapsed. At least, that was the impression that she wanted to make. Pengsan.

But instead of collapsing big time with head hitting the hard floor and rolled down the stairs, she collapsed daintily so he could catch her. But she was a wee bit too heavy for him. So he put her down, sprawled on the stairs. Not a pretty sight.

I was right there next to them and instead of sympathising, I was annoyed. Because, she was just being a drama queen. I knew she was just pretending. Hands on my hips, I asked one young Chinese man to help haul the girl up from the stairs. Put her on the floor.

All the while, one Chinese uncle was panicking. ‘Ini perempuan gila babi.’ ‘Gila babi!’ ‘baik-baik, nanti mulut dia buih.’ Mulut dia buih uncle? Think of how her parents must be foaming at the mouth if they were to see her like that. I mean, come on, the Japanese left Tanah Melayu tens of years ago, kan? Puh-leeees lah.

‘letak barang dekat mulut dia, nanti dia gigit lidah’ said the uncle.
The only thinkable thing i can put in her mouth was the sliced mango. No way. She was not having a fit, she was just staging a performance. I wasnt going to reward her with my prized mango, even though her performance was of erra-fazira quality.

Then I asked another person to pour the drinking water that he was carrying on the girl’s face.
‘Sprinkle?’ he asked me.
‘No. Pour. The whole bottle.’ I said. And I could see the girl flinch at that. Before we could empty the bottle on her, she gained consciousness! Her hands moved. They caught Romeo’s hands and pulled him so he would hug-her-and-never-let-her-go-ever-again.

Awwwwwww, the crowd said.

Eeeuuwwww, I said.

She opened her eyes, blink-blink-blink. All the time, making sure that he was not even one inch away from her.

And I told him, ‘bawak dia balik sekarang!’.
To her I said, ‘jangan nak ikut perasaan sangat. Pergi balik.’

I am such a big kepochi, kan?