Sunday, December 04, 2005

I have sinned.

I was given a ludicrous-ly heavy laptop. I can bet you all my millions that the weight of the whole bag is easily at least 10% of my body weight. And I am heavy. And I DO have the millions.

The strap is of stretchy material which is fine because it sits nicely on the shoulder, but take this, my size is all wrong for it. So instead of sitting nicely, any provocation will cause it to go boing boing boing all around me. It makes me clumsy (-er). When I took it back last Friday, running down the stairs to catch the train sent it yo-yo-ing nicely around me and I almost tripped. A quick spread of the arms and butt pushed back, managed to save the day. Phew.

I wasn’t so lucky this morning coming to work. Or maybe I was lucky. Depends on how you want to look at it.

You see, today is Yamtuan’s birthday, clap clap clap. And it is a wet cold rainy slippery day. We woke up late but I insisted on having breakfast as usual with him. It is after all his birthday, the least I could do is have breakfast with him and by that, risk to be a few minutes late. Yes? No? And so I was pressed for time. The journey would take about 25 minutes and I was at the Putra Taman Jaya at precisely 0800 hours.

Heavy bag or not I had to rush.

I reached Ampang Park station with 5 minutes to spare. Rushed to the escalators. And walked up on the right side. There was this Chinese girl infront of me. She was not as fast as I wanted her to be so I was about to cut her lane from the left side when the stupid stupid laptop hit her left foot. Her sandal came off and fell a few steps down. Oh oh, you should look at the way she looked at me. Oh oh. If looks could kill they say, she would not be jailed at all! Oh no, because even though i would die then and there, she could jolly well claim for temporary insanity. I saw madness in her eyes! I said sorry sorry sorry numerous times and i did the thinkable, i fled the crime scene. Hit and run.

So you, the Chinese girl whom I have gravely wronged, I hope you are reading this. Or I hope someone will tell you this. I AM sorry. And the only reason I did not ‘go fetch’ at your bark and help you retrieve your sandal is because doing so would make me have to crouch under your skirt and that would be a more grievous crime. Especially on a Monday. I would slap my own face if i go under your skirt, i swear. Besides. doing so would probably send a few people sprawling down. The bag, you see?

The bag is a killing machine. I am returning it today. I want to walk free again. I have sinned. O help me God.


Anonymous nohachomel said...

ayyoo kak ood, make sure jgn terselisih dgn that chinese girl again or else.....

9:29 PM  
Blogger shidah said...

Happy birthday 2 Yamtuan. Pray for a lighter laptop, maybe just settle for a non yoyo strap....for u have sin

9:45 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

noha the chomel,
i plan to either cut my nose or just toreh toreh the pipi supaya dia tak cam. I tak cam dia, kot karang balik dia bentes kaki i jatuh atas rel, aiyoh... horror.

i have repented! I have repented! The tool of doom i have returned and never will i cut lanes from the left!

9:51 PM  
Blogger dr in the house said...

Whooaa! OOD! You have rambled on about sinning, cutting lanes, getting under a skirt on a Monday morning...but...not a bit was mentioned on what happened to the laptop? Boleh pakai lagi ke??

10:00 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

haha! I totally understand. Get HEELS. You see, most people who are not vertically challenged like us wont have their laptops almost mencecah lantai and thus swinging at people's feet.

I tell ya, get heels and you shall sin no more.

10:39 PM  
Blogger Queen Of The House said...

Heels and a heavy laptop do not good companions make. Beware!

Ood, mintak new slimmer lighter laptop, if that's possible!

12:05 AM  
Anonymous ariel said...

OOD .. hahahha .. so sorry dear.. that is sooo amusing.. you okay hon after the ordeal.. i sooo understand your dilemma.. dena can tell you how vertically challenged i am too..i have long given up on the selempang style laptop bags.. i opt for the backpack version instead... but my oh my.. sakit belakang you..and sometimes it gets harder to breathe too.. why aaa? anyway.. i think our companies need to get smaller laptops.. i soo hate trying to catch a flight with a heavy laptop on my back plus my overnite bag slung on the shoulder and of course maybe a small handbag dangling all over me.. pastu karang tudung tersangkut coz all the bags are so heavy kan..but you might not have dat problem...hehehhe.. rolly polly :-P

1:30 AM  
Blogger JoKontan said...


Yeah. You've sinned. Big Time, Gurl.

Grrrr.You brought back the Laptop home. :-))

11:14 PM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Eventhough my laptop bag has straps, I took it off for the obvious reason. As Dena said, we the vertically challenged persons cannot use straps for laptop bags. I am using Dell, so Dell's laptop case is like a luggage bag. I now use the one my hubby gave me which is slimmer (the bag I mean hehehe) and without strap as well.

Btw, Many Happy Returns to Yamtuan. Panjang umur murah rezeki InsyaAllah

1:04 AM  
Blogger drbubbles said...

oo you lah.. keluar dalam rakan cops annoucement di radio! they are looking for you....

2:56 AM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

ya - betul tu Iskandar -a lso that taxi driver - exMIC looking for you - tak payah nak heret laptop! Happy belated birthday to yamtuan

9:03 PM  
Blogger hana_kirana said...

Happy belated birthday to your Yamtuan!

eh, i saw this one laptop at Low Yat. very small size, priced only RM4K. Dell brand. siang malam ku termimpi-mimpi kan laptop itu. huwaaa....

12:16 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

dr house,
the laptop survived the impact. i have returned it. I walk light again! Yeeeeha!

i shalt get me heels. There are times when i do so wish i am a bit taller. Should have bergayut kat katil masa boarding school dulu like the seniors told me to do..

i have requested, but i cant have the 10 inch one as well,because my fingers too big for the keyboard. I asked for 13 inch, all NOT built in. Can lah hoh?

we have GOTTA meet lah!

Joke Ontan,
aiyah, rubbing salt to wound, owch owch owch... no, now i go laplesstopless ;o)

i ni kayu when it comes to computer specs all. they are buying me a fujitsu i think, entah, but i am gonna request that they give me backpack. Dapat jaket kulit to go with it will be better.

ye ke? alamak oh alamak.. i hope they dont know my real connections with the al kaedah-melanggar-orang>

why are you still in touch with my duh-ling of taxi driver? why why?

hana kirana,
ok, i buy you the dell for your 19th birthday, kalau belum lepas lah. Gimme address to send. But 19th birthday onni okay?

12:27 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

ood: you gotta meet ariel. she's so your size!

1:47 AM  
Blogger atiza said...

happy extra belated birthday to yamtuan..

i was there when you did it..i saw the whole thing...i'm going to call Radio ERA afterwards..

buy me lunch if you want me to shut my mouth up! hehehe

5:11 PM  
Blogger MamiJarum said...

Happy Belated, Very Belated Birthday to Yamtuan! Hee! Hee! Kelakar lah you nih! Nasib baik that Chinese girl tak baling her sandals at you!!! A reason to request for a slimmer laptop!! :D

6:59 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

madam, you have sinned for too long! update! update!

10:40 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

i carry umbrella with me evry day, for exactly that purpose. To ward off sandal attacks!

you ahhh! dont give chance one!

*grumble grumble*

1:08 AM  

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