Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Home

I live in a pig-sty. It looks like a decent-sized apartment, 3 bedrooms, one really large kitchen with dry and wet parts, dining area, tv area and two bathrooms. But the apartment really is just a pig-sty with frills.

It is not dirty. But hell it is messy! Toys are littered everywhere. The beds are never made. There are always stuff on the table (fengshui kata, there must be lotsa food on the table to prosper), and there will always be either pillows or clothes waiting (a lonnnnnnng wait) to be folded or more toys or books or newspaper on the sofa ~ if you can find the sofa at all. No place to sit, even to walk in the apartment has its own consequences ~ use a shovel, quicker, to go from one room to the other might just take you days! We do not accept walk-in visitors. To come to our place is strictly by appointments only. That way, we can make sure the apartment is more presentable. Give us notice so we can shove everything under the bed or the carpet. Spray Febreeze here and there and hide the kids in the closet too. The dust never mind, in case of water-supply shortage, can use to do tayammum. Throw rugs on the floor. And dim the lights. Switch on uv lamp, so whites look whiter than they really are. Stage all set, now guests can come in.

I am not exaggerating, of course.

Pix of the dining table.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Why, one wonders. My mak taught me well, kemas rumah kemas bilik kalau tak nak kena tiao. Sapu mop hari hari. Jangan tangguh buat kerja. Theory all I have, a scholar when it comes to Sains Rumahtangga (got A1 for SRP). So y-o-y?

Ok, now the excuses.

0630 - Home
Both Yamtuan and me would wake up at the same time. One of us would go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast while the other one will do ironing and prepare the children’s bag. Who does what is also determined by previous nocturnal activities, who did most work .. (ya know what I’m sayin?). Then we would shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, wake the children up and off to work. I will arrive at the office at the earliest 0830, at the latest.. emmm, pretty late, better not put here. I should be at office at 0800 actually.

My average is 0930, okay. – Office
Busy busy ~ blog blog blog blog work blog blog blog lunch blog blog work blog work work blog. End of a very productive day. Wait for bus, wait for train 1 (PA System: Komuter mengalami masalah teknikal, tren mengalami kelewatan, kami memohon maaf), train 2 (PA System: Komuter mengalami masalah teknikal, tren mengalami kelewatan, kami memohon maaf) and finally wait for Yamtuan at train station. Pick up children at 1830.

If we have to go singseh and buy diapers or milk or soap and then go grocery store for kelapa parut and vege (Yamtuan must have anything with santan and I must have vege) we’ll be home by about 1930.

1930 hrs – Kitchen & bathroom
Dot will already be requesting for dinner. So rush to do silat in the kitchen. Tanak nasi and throw things into the wok, letak garam all to make dinner. Can eat can do. Yamtuan will bathe the kids. When he is done with both, the first one will want to go toilet to ik-ik. After cleaning her, the boy will have chocolate cake in his diapers pulak. Repeat process.

2030 hrs – Living room & dining room
I will feed the little one while Yamtuan feed the sister. Sometimes Dot will insist on feeding herself so we brace ourselves for the aftermath of this daring stunt. By the time they are done, both kids will be happy and full, both parents hungry and cranky. Yamtuan cleans the both of them and I set the table for dinner. By the time we are both seated, it will already be 2130, at times even 2300! Eat but no time to chew food because the sister is doing a WWE with the brother and the brother at 7 months old is using curtains and anything with legs to pull himself up only to fall flat on his face. Sun wails. Dot hits him. I scream at them. Yamtuan screams at me. They scream louder. Neighbors call the police.

Average 2200 hrs – Dot’s bedroom & master bedroom
In one room,
Yamtuan and Dot. ‘tidurlah!!!
‘But I want to watch Pooh’
‘Tomorrow, tidur dulu’
‘I want mommy’
‘she is with your bro. After adik tidur then she will come, okay’
‘but I want to sleep with mommy’
‘later, she’ll come later’
‘nak makan buah?’
‘esok’
‘nak minum susu teh?’
‘esok’
Cry! But of course, everything also cannot, how not to cry?

In the other room,
Sun ‘mengopek’. Doesn’t want to let go. I pull, he wakes. I give, he sleeps. I pull again, he wakes, and cries. Okay okay, you want, take.

By the time the children fall asleep, it will be about 2300 or more and the two of us would be conked out as well!

And the next day, the same routine. When to kemas rumah?

I just ym-ed Yamtuan. We both agreed to make it a point to kemas the house everyday starting from tonight. Sleep can do at office. Remember the hadis, dear? Help me clean up the house, okay?

This is my janji maya (in cyberspace everything is maya-virtual, right?), as the whole cyber community is the witness, no more will we live in a pigsty! No more!

41 Comments:

Blogger Kak Teh said...

ood, dont get me started on this. esp. now when i have to use a scanner to find where I can sit. I will win the Turner Prize (i.e. The Unmade Bed) anytime!
ps. are you sure u've got the right email address? and the right phone number? i replied tak ada jawapan pun.

11:55 PM  
Anonymous Si Nana said...

hahaha...

tang habuk buleh buat tayammum yang aku tak tahan tuh.... kelakor! tapi, good excuse to give lah!

*wink*

12:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wohoo..even reading your post makes me hungry and cranky. Kids, love them, hate them.

12:40 AM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

cute family lah you got, ood..cute mom too, with a sense of humour..

12:52 AM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

i like especially tang "blog blog blog work blog blog work" tuh...sama lah kita..

12:53 AM  
Blogger Susan Abraham said...

Very nice to read Ood. I really enjoyed this. You write your posts with great insight.

1:00 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

Kak Teh,
let me search for my handphone first.

Nana,
i read somewhere that abuk is really cosmic droppings.. jatuh from the sky you, from planets all! Bukan pasal i tak menyapu rumah!

Anonymous,
children are the cause of a lot of stomach troubles ~ makan tak hadam. Betul! Love them tho!

nefertiti,
everyday at 5 i would swear not to go near blog again pasal kerja tak siap2... but then, esok buat lagi, buat lagi! Terrible! Nasib baik rumah takdak internet access, kalo tak hubby and kids will go hungry! Haha..!

1:01 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

Susan dear dear,
You sure said the nicest of things, still, not gonna get you an invitation to the pigsty! Oh no!
:o)

1:03 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

I was there LOOOOOON time ago. So can imagine how it felt

1:04 AM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

hahahaaaaa....ood check blog lagi! tak keje!! same here...boss takde, kita bersuka rie...

1:08 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

nefertiti!
i nak kerja ni, janganlah kacau!

auntyN,
tolong! tolong!

1:11 AM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

hek hek hek hek..cak aaaa..

1:20 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

nefertiti!
:P

1:23 AM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

see? it's 1630hrs, and you're still checking your blog...ood tuang keje! ood tuang keje!

1:29 AM  
Blogger AuntieYan. said...

ODD, apo nak dikato.....rumah Auntie pun cam gitu jugak,kalau weekends selalu doa jangan le ada visitor sesat, nanti terpengsan dia....macam kapal pecah!

1:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is ood's boss.

she is -as of right now- working on a report i asked her to do. very good worker she is. will give her fat bonus.

BIGBOSS

1:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is such a hilarious gang...with OOD being the head honcho. Padan le semua dah tebiat. Kalau dah taik blog, mana boleh renti wei.

2:01 AM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:13 AM  
Blogger Ely said...

hahahah this is too funny!

in my house, the only part thats messy is MY room! u see, the kids have their daily chore sheets on when to keep the living room clean. kitchen clean and their room clean but the parents has no chore sheet cos they work kan?

the Mr works from home but i dont expect (i repeat dont expect, yeah right!) him to clean. and my room is as bigger than my living room.

room too big to clean, so leave it for weekends.

thats ok OOD, kita suma paham orang ada nak kecik memang tak habis kemas.

6:24 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

OOD, if you look at my room, you'll know what messy means. But my N is a neat-freak..cannot tahan all the mess, so our house is neat, like it or not, ALL with the help of our bibiks. Or else, the Maharaja will meletop! So, I lepas geram kat my "secret" drawers (and I'm not talking about "knickers" drawers ok!)..You open them..you'll see the mess..all mine! heheh! macam lepas geram gitu..

9:06 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

AuntieYan, Anedra, Ely,
semalam dah projekkan rumah. Siap mop lagi! Sampai past midnight gotongroyong lagi. Harap2 adalah tetamu nak drop by this weekend! Selalu time sepah tu lah orang nak datang.

Nefertiti & Anonymous,
I taik-blog? Hmph! So u think i datang ofis blog je ke? Oh tidak, tidak! Sometimes i sleep too.

9:45 PM  
Blogger ummi said...

your (pic of) dining table is so much 'cleaner' than mine....at least its just full of food...my dining table penuh dengan papers, books, H's toys (& sometimes even pampers dia)

but thanks for letting me know that i'm not alone in this "how/when to clean your house" thing....

p.s. ym ed you (on the add u gave)..tapi no reply.

1:45 AM  
Blogger shidah said...

OOD, you still cook! That's amazing. If you can run so fast in long skirt to kejar peragut, I'm not surprise to hear u multitasked ;) btw kak teh claims she's the one invented multitasking :)

8:27 AM  
Blogger 4 TR4P PR1NC3SS said...

I was just blog hopping. I must say that you amazed me big time! Used to work but back then I had a maid to do all the chores. I really can't imagine myself tired from work and still having to cook for the family when I reach home. Thumbs Up Ood! Now I'm a housewife.
For me it's either work or not! ahaha, I can't do both! My salutes to all the working mums who can do both! Cheers!

10:07 AM  
Blogger iJun said...

OOoooo dulu ada sekali I was emptying my vacuum cleaner bag.. got three big fat spotty cicaks just lept out and crawled under the sofa!!! Then malam2 dia bising tik tik tik tik tik... gila stress!!

9:04 AM  
Anonymous hartini said...

My room is a perfect example of a pigsty... my mom often wonders how i survive in there. She says, "kalau ular sesat, termasuk bilik kau, boleh mati dia, makan sampah dan habuk." hehehee

Of course I would love to be neat, but unfortunately I was born to not to be one. Sesiapa yang end up married with me, I hope he can tolerate with this! hehehee

3:05 AM  
Anonymous hartini said...

ewwwwwww @ the cicaks!!!

Anybody knows what kind of spray or insecticide that can kill cicak in an instant??

3:06 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

ummi,
i cant ym from office. But i can msn ~ sangmaya. See you there, i hope?

Shidah & 4 TR4P PR1NC3SS,
alah i masak cincai2 je. Lobau kan semua dalam periuk, pasang api, habis cerita. Sedap makan banyak, tak sedap makan sikit.

Hartini,
to kill cicak, use PESTIJUN!! I trust he has macam2 method.

7:51 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

Psst Ijun,
Hartini is very pretty very smart you know. She is also great with computer stuff. Can use your cicak mortal combat skills to usha her you know.. Bilik dia sepah but you pandai vacuum kan?

*wink wink wink wink*

pssst hartini,
Ijun pandai masak cekodok pisang wo! He has shady experience with yemenis tapi takpe, tu dah berlalu (kan Ijun?).

* ;o) , jangan marah..*

7:57 PM  
Blogger shidah said...

ood, why use pestijun to cambat cicak? washing machine kan ada? wakakakakaka!

9:27 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

shidah,
yes yes.. mula2 use vacuum cleaner to catch and sedut all the cicaks. Then dump them all in the washing machine. Put a bit of fabric softener. Put cycle to max.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

Terrible Shidah!

9:39 PM  
Blogger iJun said...

Oi!

3:34 PM  
Blogger iJun said...

Hartini, jom gi dating! hehe

3:36 PM  
Anonymous hartini said...

hahahaaa! U all ni kelakar lah..!! :D dating2 plak! hahhaa

I have shady experience with the cicaks! eeew! Last nite, I saw one anak cicak with the tail severed, climbing up the wall. So geliiiiii!!! Macam nak lastik that thing, but knowing how my aiming ability is, buat bodoh aje lah... Thought of spraying it with insecticide, nanti I pulak yang pening kepala. Those things don't seem to react to insecticides. Spray satu botol baru bende tu tergolek on the floor.

eeeee!!! cicak and washing machine!!!! ewwwww! how about cicak and blender! hahaaa!!!!!

11:44 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

cicak and blender = cicak shake..may want to add strawberry ice-cream for some flavour. yes? no?

11:57 PM  
Blogger faux diamante said...

uih ur schedule dgn anak2...ese baco pun ongeh!

nasib baik u got a superb sense of humour.

asal hati senang, rumah bergelodak pun tak jadi pasal lah.

10:37 AM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

speaking of cicak, the ones in my house used to be scared stiff of me..reason being i'm always armed with getah lastik, ready to "deboosh" the cicak away..ada sekali tu, dia dok bertenggek kat kipas. nampak je kelibat i, dia dah panik,terus terjatuh atas my hair and menggelupur lari..agaknya kalau dia tu manusia, dah terkencing terberak dah kot..

5:21 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

IJun Oi Oi la Oi! Marake?

Hartini,
ada satu ubat pancing cicak. Letak hujung lidi and u llet the cicak makan, it will tegolekjatuh mati keras. I have never seen it and dont wish to anyway, tapi friends kata the pancing is rather popular kat pantai timur.

Anedra,
dah blend and shake tu, boh whipped cream...
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

nazrah,
serabut bunyi my life kan? I poke fun at myself and the situation only AFTER, not DURING. Time DURING tu, i &$%$###@!@!@#) (SENSORED BY BLOG PATROL)

Nefertiti Noti Noti,
u have ganged up with Ijun on this cicak business! Terrible.
If i hate cicak, i hate dead cicak more. Especially yang terburai perut kena lastik. Especially yang gam dia tak kuat asek jatuh atas orang!

8:56 PM  
Blogger MA said...

Ood : Hmm...I have been there - but let me tell you of the rewards. Once the kids have grown up - its PAYBACK time !

Abang kena wash up Adik after poo-poo, simply because Mama washed YOUR bottom before so now its your turn.

Now - I used emotional blackmail to get them do the chores for me. " Dulu masa you all babies, Mama kena bangun malam-malam buat susu - sekarang ni tolong buat air oren untuk Mama sikit ? "

Hehe..it works ALL the time !

10:08 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

Mak Andeh
good idea... i will start writing down all the penat jerih untuk ungkitan di masa hadapan, yes...

:o)

10:22 PM  
Anonymous hartini said...

Ood, I'd try that lidi trick anytime. But nanti dah tergolek, I masih geli nak pick it up and throw it away... but better than nothing, right!! If u know the name of the ubat, let me know. So far, haven't seen anything like that here before.

9:25 PM  

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