Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Chenta oh Chenta

Zaman bercinta memang indah.

Percintaan itu indah, pemandangannya pon indah; rumput lebih hijau dari hijau dan langit lebih biru dari biru (why notice the grass and the sky when in love, you ask? Well, love doesn’t discriminate, cows love too).

When Yamtuan and I were dating, we laughed a lot. He knew how to make me laugh (a big plus point). Everything was so funny and we laughed ourselves silly. People must have thought that we were on ganja all the time. Well, love had that intoxicating effect on us. And then we decided we should celebrate the comedy that was our relationship with marriage. Both mothers said okay but since both mothers were into ‘ikut adat lah, nanti apa orang kata. Kawin stail koboi sat ni orang kata hampa kena tangkap basah’ so we had to do the ‘bertunang’ thing first. I was always wary of this bertunang nonsense. But being the dutiful children (I insist) we were, we agreed but only for a few months. We agreed on 6 months.

And the six months engagement period was a real Italian opera oh-my-gawd! Berdarah-darah! We fought all the time. I cried all the time!

I suppose when you were dating, it was the easiest phase because you were not sorta ‘tied’ to each other. There were no real commitments except scout’s and brownies honour. There was no stopping you should you wish to walk out. Families were not in the picture, there was no pressure.

But being engaged was a different ball game. It was like waiting to see the dentist. You were afraid of the unknowns and all the possibilities; ‘we need to remove all your molars’ said the dentist or ‘woohoo, you have perfect rows of teeth, you deserve a lollipop’. There was no way you could tell that life together would be all molar-extractions or colourful lollipops! And the knot felt like a noose around the neck and the slightest misbehaviour from your betrothed would make you re-evaluate the decision; ‘do I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy who eats nothing but chicken? Maybe I will be happier with a guy who eats fish’. And you see the door, the way out. You could walk out from it still. And if you wanted to, you must do it before the wedding! The fact that those fiery red devils with fork were working full-time did not help matters. It was the most horrible period of our relationship. Let me just say that within this period, there was one casualty, poor Mr.Ericsson. He died of severe trauma to the whole body after ehem… falling out of a speeding car, and Ms.Nokia, God bless her, was disfigured for life after that terrible impact with the wall. She would never be the same again.

We fought teeth and nails (and handphones) all the time, over things so significantly not important. Most of the time I could not even remember what the fighting was all about.

There was this huge fight one day. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what triggered it but the fight got real ugly. This was all through the phone. I had enough. I switched off the phone and decided I would go back Kluang and just tell my family that the engagement was off. I could not tahan anymore. I packed my bag and went Puduraya. Bought a Transnasional ticket to Kluang.

When the bus arrived, I gladly went on it, chose my seat and just cried. I was so tired from the constant bickering, and I missed our good times and I wanted to just end the engagement. Maybe we would be better off without each other. And I cried (the bus was almost empty, it wasn’t a weekend) and cried and soon I fell asleep.

The bus stopped for makan-makan at Yong Peng but I didn’t go out. I continued on sleeping, nursing my wounded heart. Oh I was the reigning drama queen of ayaq mata that time. I slept on.

When we reach the destination some five hours later, I woke up NOT in the familiar Kluang bus station. We were somewhere else, somewhere terribly foreign to me. Eyes puffy from the sleep and all the crying, I approached the bus driver.
‘Encik, kita kat mana ni?’
‘Pontian lah, dah sampai.’ He said. Ayo..
‘Saya nak ke Kluang. Ini bukan bas ke Kluang ke?’
‘Adik salah naik bas lah ni….’

What to do? It was almost night and in this part of Johor the town slept early. There was no direct bus or taxi service to Kluang but I could perhaps persuade a cab driver to send me there, but I would have to pay double of the whole cab’s fare, meaning I would have to pay my fare times 4 passengers times the trip back because the cab would not want to drive back to Pontian empty. The amount would be enough for a trip to Perlis and back again, on a bus. The other option was to stay on the bus and go back KL.

‘saya ikut bas ni balik KL semula lah’ I said. I was totally embarrassed actually.
‘boleh! Boleh! Adik tak payah bayar tambang. Kira abang belanja lah. Tapi bas ni nak singgah Pagoh dulu. Nak pergi kedai kain terbakar tu. Abang nak beli baju raya.’


And so I journeyed back to KL, with the annoying Abang trying to hit on me.

‘adik umur berapa?’ he asked at one point.
‘ye ke? Abang baru 25.’
Right, ABANG!

By this time, the silliness of the whole situation was apparent to me. The sob-sob sadness was gone. Called the tunang. He laughed at my stupidity, nak merajuk pon bodoh! And he picked me up at Puduraya.

Maka kedua-dua pihak bertelagah merangka pelan damai. And he married the bodoh the ood finally. Phew!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooohh... i just love happy endings!

Masa bertunang banyak dugaan eh, OOD? Alhamdulillah, sampai jodoh tu.

-The one you called "Jedi"-

7:55 PM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Biasalah kata orang darah manis masa bertunang tu. Kalau tak kelahi tu tak best lah. Sekarang pun gaduh lagi ke? Hehehe.

7:58 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

Master Dooku the Jedi,
Bertunang should be BANNED i think! Doesnt serve any purpose, buat jahanam handphone je....
Yes, Alhamdulillah, berjodoh jugak!

Kelahi AuntyN! Tapi tak penah lah kelahi sampai bungkus kain baju lagi dah! hehe..
Oih, takleh lama kat sini, nanti Nefertiti ejek... kena LLB (look like busy) sikit.

8:19 PM  
Blogger born-again drama queen said...

muahaaahaaahaaahaaa....*echo effect*

bertunang was a hellish period for me. hated every minute of it and should've followed my instinct of not proceeding with marriage back then.
then again, it's all written in luh mahfuz lah kan..who am i to question it?

8:41 PM  
Blogger Ely said...

oody, very nice cute story!

aiyoh teringat time baru kawin tinggal sini. being alone and no job, duk rumah, asik gaduh jer! culture differences lain, different environment pun lain.

i dont think the husband could count how many times i kemas beg threatening to go back to Singapore!

now no more, i say my piece and i am done!

8:50 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

OOD, yeah..drama queen alright! haha! This is sooo funny, but it has a happy ending where OOD, Yamtuan, Dot and Sun live happily ever after! I like.

10:09 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

OOD - drama queen you are! But arent we all! Kak teh tunang just one week sebelum kahwin - to do the right thing, of course. Kalau nak ikutkan orang tu, nak kawin di mesjid aje. Next day pi office, dapat telefon call," hello , tunang!" ayoh! you dont know what that means, tersipu2 you!! malu. suddenly lain macam jadinya. Tapi tunang seminggu tak lah sempat kelahi!

10:34 PM  
Blogger shidah said...

lucky i skipped the bertunang part, tak sempat. summer holiday is just 3 mnths. pi mai, pi mai, aku nikahkan dikau.... :)

10:40 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

nefertiti noti noti,
itu pasal bertunang is scary. You get all these premonitions tapi tak tau whether those were for real or just setan kacau tak mau kasi kita buat masjid! I am sorry that your marriage didnt work out though..:0I

Ely, you should write a book about this mixed marriage. Ramai my friends went through HELL the first few months/years of the marriage because they have problems adjusting. Not the easiest of marriage!
Kow tow kow tow..

well, marriage life has not been all lollipops... kadang2 a tooth or two kena drill jugak, but we try lah kan. There is wisdom in this song;
'bangun pagi gosok gigi cuci muka pakai baju minum susu makan roti pergi sekolah senang hati'
(must do a karaoke on that soon!)

Kak Teh,
wooooo the blushing bride!! I read what you wrote pon, darah simbah ke muka, malu! hehehe...

senangkan takyah tunang2? Terima nikahnya terus. Kadhi tanya, setuju ke tidak? Angguk cepat2, setuju sangat tok! Beres!

11:21 PM  
Blogger Improser said...

perhhhh... dasatnye gaduh..
during my time..bertunang tu indahnyeee

1:05 AM  
Blogger AuntieYan. said...

Hemm...Auntie pun pernah gaduh besar masa tunang,siap nangis-nangis tepi jalan, pernah juga baling-baling cincin tunang!!( pas tu kutip balik..he..he..) cerita hindu le pulak...nasib baik tunang 4 bulan je...Pengelaman yang sangat berharga tu ODD...;-)

1:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nasib baik i takde tunang-tunang. cuma adalah dia bagi cincin sementara nak kawin tu. Satu hari gaduh besar, pi baling cincin tu dalam kereta, ingat kalau baik boleh kutip. tengok2 dia hantar service, hemm terus lesap. FRUST Big time!!

1:49 AM  
Blogger Ely said...

oody, book abt me being the DRAMA QUEEN? sure, i tgh cari publisher nih hehehee.

mix marriages as then live in a different country memang mula2 bergelora. but after a while, the marriage gets pretty strong.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

err, OOD, Master Dooku tu lebih kurang cam buah duku ke? Jahat la drama queen sorang nih!
*buat muka monyet kat OOD*

8:35 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

kelahi masa tunang macam sakit kena cagu lah kot. sakit tapi shiok osso.

you aah lagi neng yatimah dari meself! hehehe..

si dia ganti balik tak cincin yang dia bertanggungjawab hilangkan tu ?(sapa suruh hanto keta pi servis? u tak salah, baling takpe..)

o master dooku,
pi search internet nengok sape master dooku tu. walo pon nama dia tak comey, tapi dia jedi yg duduk dalam Majlis Tertinggi. Dan dia telah berkorban nyawa demi kebajikan sejagat. Dah dah, jangan buat muka monyet lagi. Ini satu compliment lah... :op

9:10 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

write! Title 'DramaQueen-ing' can, 'Manual on manhandling man in mixed marriage' osso can!

9:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mana dia ada ganti cincin tu!!Waaaa...dia kata tulah sapa soh baling. Padan muko den. So dipendekkan cite, ari tu nampak belilah sendiri sebab dah suka kan..

12:45 AM  
Blogger red said...

kah..kah..kah...kelakor la ko....

3:42 AM  
Anonymous hartini said...

Interesting story!!! :D You were destined to be with your hubby!!!

As for me, my bf, I ignored him for 1 year coz I thought he was 'menggatal'...!! Then I started to be nice to everyone coz I was OVER and done with the guy who hurt me so bad... I started to talk to him, but another exbf proposed marriage over the phone. How unromantic, right!! But I still said Yes... Apa tak... orang tu marah betol!!! hahaha! Malas I nak story lah coz still got no ending yet...


10:36 AM  
Blogger iJun said...

Bestnya bunyi tunang-tunang nie...

12:26 AM  
Blogger shanghaimm said...

上海不眠夜Sleepless in Shanghai says

Is Kluang the Gunong Lambak place?

3:30 PM  
Blogger 4 TR4P PR1NC3SS said...

Hwaa.........and I thought I'm the only one yang Allah bagi dugaan. ehehe.

6:52 PM  
Blogger sue said...

ok...must take note.

Jgn bertunang lama2 nanti...(If and when I wanna get married lah-which is SO far away)

7:15 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

takpe CINcin boleh beli, CINta tak buleh... Moral of the story: lain kali baling dia punya!

bodoh one kind kan? Sejak tu takleh merajuk lari lagi, kang end up kat mana2 timbuktu ntah .. kono panggil dia rescue.

just between u and me, time bertunang lah i received the most proposals. Suddenly that hunk from accounts asked me out and the hairy-chested sexy brooding guy was giving me the winks and this droopy eyed sensitive bloke told me that i haunted his dreams.. etc etc. It was raining man, hellalujah! (Disclaimer: Yamtuan, i am just exaggerating here)
Anyways, hartini, hope your story ends well. Choose well, girl! IJun is REAL nice, i tell you.

7:47 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

bertunang is 'endah kabar daghi ghope' je..

ayoyo... Kluang IS at the Gunung Lambak place. How you know? I have mentioned ya? Do we know each other?

Ujian bukan sebarang ujian. Kalah mati wo!

alah bertunang ambik syarat buat macam kak teh, seminggu je ke... baru manis. So bila ni? Minggu depan cuti sekolah ni? Eloklah..

7:52 PM  
Anonymous hartini said...

Kesian Ijun, asyik kena tolak kat I je... :D

Yea that is so true, Ood!! Bila takde, habuk pun takde. Bila dah ada, mangkin ramai yang datang! Apa nye magnet lah I dah tertelan...!! For your case, you tertelan magnet apa that time? *hehehee* So how did u reject their proposals? I love that song - it's raining men!!! :D

9:28 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

betul lah, tak baik i. It is just that i am fond of him and fond of you. Sigh... okay, tak usik macam tu lagi. Sowiii Hartini, sowi Ijuney. chek tak buat lagi!

How i handled them? By honoring my janji to tunang, i got married and so darah menjadi tawar kembali.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Jade said...

oooh.... a true fairy tale. so.. who said there's no such thing as fairy tale. hehe..

ood, you're so lucky.. ;-)

1:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ood!!update blog cepat!!

8:27 PM  
Anonymous nefertiti said...

heh heh..sorry..that was me..update cepat laa...*stomping feet*

8:28 PM  
Blogger marina said...

Kalau merisik hari ni, tunang esok, lusa nikah, tulat kenduri.... ok taakk?? huh? huh? huh?

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OOD, di mana kah dikau? kenapa menyepi diri....

12:37 AM  
Anonymous hartini said...

heheheee fun kan, play matchmaking. I kadang2 pun kacau my single friends :D

no worries lah :D

7:29 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

i should have left a slipper at Puduraya, or slept there until Yamtuan came to the resuce with a kiss, then it would be more of a fairy tale! hehehe...

Nefertiti and Anonymous I & II,
i lambat update pasai my internet haywire. Sat ada sat takdak. Meradang betul, sakit tengkuk menahan amaroh. Dah update dah, sehari suntuk nak lekatkan tak maun. Internet & server &*(&&*^%$&%%#$!!

boleh apa. Risik and bertunang buat sekali. Bertunang sehari. Menikah esoknya. Senang, jimat dan tak penat tak kena dogaan teruk2.


7:45 PM  
Blogger Empty Heart said...

What if what was thought during the 'tunang' period, was only made known in the holy sacrament of marriage ? And that the hidden truth hurts. B it the past. Can we really choose to be happy?
Love hurts.

5:47 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

auw empty heart,
i went to your spot and while i dont claim to understand your pain and what you must be going through right now, but i do feel for you. And i get goosebumps, and i feel your anger and your sadness.. and i realised i didnt know what to say to you. I cant say cheer up, so i'll say chin up. Youre gonna be a mother and mothers are made from stronger stuff. You will be okay, and the baby will be so loved.


9:13 PM  

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