Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I Yam the Way I Yam

A bit of drama occured at my workplace a few days ago. I wont dwell into the boring details of the drama, only the boring aftermath.
As i discussed the matter with my boss, we talked about staff A and B and how 'A was just being A' and 'B being B of course is like that' etc.
Thinking back tho, it occured to me that all this talk about 'just being oneself' is actually a statement of resignation. It means we have given up on them, we dont think they'll change.
You see, A is moody. She picks and chooses assignments in accordance to her mood. Bos marah? Pedulikkan. Her mood rules. I said to her once that i think nobody should impose their mood on others. It isnt fair. Being professional means you stay objective and focused. She said, 'i am the way i am, office has to accept me the way i am'.
This isnt limited to the workplace. My sis-in-law scratches her butt in front of guests, males included in a kenduri while complaining outloud about her kurap. If you are above 50, the flora and fauna on your butt may be something the whole kampung wants to know. She is only 35. She farts away too. And so being the kepochi person that i am (cant help being me), i told her to tone it down a bit. She said, 'aku memang macam ni'.
It is one thing to maintain our individuality and refusal to change just to conform or to please others are something that i can respect. But what about 'improving'? Cant we 'change' so we can 'improve'? When we are resigned to the fact that 'i am the way i am', we wont ever improve, will we? If i am asked to be taller, i can say, 'i am the way i am, deal with it' because it is not something i have control over. Maybe my appearance will 'improve' if i were taller, but i cant kan?
To be prettier? Layers of makeup, a mask maybe can do the trick if the light is bad.
To be slimmer? I can go gym, starve myself and lose a kilo or two, can.
May not be easy but not impossible.
To be a better employee?
To be a better mother, a better daughter?
To be a better person?
Why not?

On another note, i believe TQM is but a subset of Islam.
The teaching includes the 5S and kaizen about being organised and clean, ISO 9000 for quality management and constant improvement, ISO 14000 forr environmental management, OSHA for safety at work, HALAL etc.

maybe i of all people should start looking at ways for self-improvement and stop being so very me, because 'me' is far from being eligible for any quality certification.


Blogger dith said...

These people should open up Imam Ghazali's Ihya and read on the various sifat2 which are haram and should be avoided, self centeredness included.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Uncle said...

Funny. I just had a long talk with my colleagues on Change Management today. About managing changes in the work place. About managing expectations. About change being the only constant thing in life. About the only person who likes change is a baby with wet diaper.

After the talk, I have this free time when I surf the blogs, your blog to be exact. And you're talking about change as well. Obama talks about change as well. So far, what has changed?

11:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't ever change...
i love u just the way u are

9:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Changes are part of life I suppose. Some people change for the better and some for the worse. But some people never want to change because they believe people should accept them as they are.

In life,sometime we have to accept this people who refuse to change especially those close to us, however unfortunate the situation is.



6:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you read astrology, feng shui, aura, etc., you'll find YOU i.e. CHARACTER that you're born with. Knowing your character is the platform or benchmark for you to develop yourself better. Self development is key for you to open the horizon or life phases that will make your life more enjoyable.

Change Management. Ahhh!! I like this subject. I always like to refer this to Brad Sugar's word, "If you do things the same way, the same method, you'll achieve the same results. Life then will be a photocopy of yesterday." I came across this in 2002 when Brad's was here. Indeed he is right. (If you wondering who is Brad Sugar, look for ACTION INTERNATIONAL, he's Australian)

Self development is about change management. What's good about us now that produce good results should remain. What's liability to us now that produce poor results should change.

Looks for patterns of successful habits. Work on that. It is part of the law of Qadha and Qadar. Causes and effects. e.g. mental arithmetic way of calculation produce result faster than counting by fingers. So, learn mental arithmetic. Tapi, dah berumur ni, susah pulak nak belajar. Contoh je la.

My personal experience as Virgorian, I'm supposed to be sensitive and pemalu (refering to astrology). I was like that then. Teramat pendiam. I foresee that this will be my future liability when I was 13. I told myself I must make an effort to change. I've pushed myself to change. I took public speaking and leadership as the agent of change. And I changed.

However, in every change management, there must be MOTIVATION FACTOR. So, what's your motivation to change ?.....


8:25 PM  
Blogger Tigress said...

Dear Ood,

No one should ever have to accept less from anyone than what is reasonably expected, by making excuses, justifications or pleading plain ignorance. It promotes double standard and breeds self-centred, arrogant, pigheads. On one hand, you'ld expect excellence from a 'normal' person, but would accept lesser performance from the second, due to his/her 'imperfection'? No way! You are born with physical imperfection, but not character defects. Any attitude shortcomings are purely your own doing, and I, personally say..., Stay Away from Pesakit Kusta dan yang Seangkatan Dengannya. It either rubs on you or completely spoils your day.:-)

(alamak... sorry. Ter'emo'..)

11:28 PM  
Blogger Desert Rose said...


I feel so motivated and so positive after reading this. Salute!!!!!

8:18 PM  
Blogger Lys said...

You are who you are. Don't ever change.

10:37 PM  
Blogger tajudin said...

change - only when you've fitting room!

sorry kak...

12:21 AM  
Blogger Maya said...


This thing about change....something that we are exploring throughout our life, methinks.

Imagine this.... I think I have changed so much in my life (and hubby will quite happily second that, you from being a sweet young thing have now become a power bitch!) and then I meet my classmates after decades and they, after just five minutes say I "You havent changed a BIT!"

And then now after a couple of years, still insist I am the same person they new in high school/college.

Well, this topic is worth could even write and extensive thesis on it. I think we remain a fine blend between nature and nurture; between the genetic material from dad and mum, and between then and now, between what we chose to manifest and what we dont. Aiyoooo...

3:40 PM  

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