Of Lions and Pigs

Last Tuesday we all went to Hospital Angkatan Tentera Terendak in Melaka. Mak had a doctor’s appointment. Because her appointment was at 9am, we went Melaka a day earlier and stayed at one of the villas in A’Famosa Resort.

That night we decided to have a Melaka-style dinner i.e ikan bakar. Umbai was too far and so upon recommendations from Yamtuan’s friend, we went to Pengkalan Balak. We had kembong, pari, siakap, sotong, kailan (that we could all swear was really sawi putih), soup, and eggs. Ok lah, can do. Fish not exactly fresh but can lah, we were ravishingly ravenous anyway.

The next day, the procedure was done okay, Mak had her ‘tapak’ for dialysis installed and we went separate ways after that. Me and family, back to KL. My bro to JB. My sis, Mak and her family to Kluang.

End of story.

Jut now over dinner at some warung at some traffic lights near our house, Buletin Utama was on.

Apparently Karam Singh has ‘rocked a few boats’ in Pengkalan Balak and ruffled the feathers of some politicians too. Karam Singh karam boats!

The issue? Pig farming.

They were too many of them, all of which too densely populated with pigs. It wouldn’t be so bad if the farms were in compliance with standards and regulations. But silly me, of course they are not when there was no apparent need to. No enforcement so why compromise on profits, right? And so all the farms violated every possible rule there was.

Pollution was at its peak (profit too, for that matter).

Water pollution? Check!
Untreated effluent went right into rivers to flow straight into the sea.

Air pollution? Check!
The stench was awful, or so the people claimed. In one interview, a student was recorded saying that they all carried ‘minyak angin’ to class to ward off the smell.

Solid waste? Check!
Antibiotics-medicine-what-not bottles were strewn everywhere.

Esthetics? Are you kidding me? We are not talking peacock farm here. Puh-leeese.

End of story. Really. Violations of the law, lack of enforcement and sudden highlights on certain flavoured topics of the month are nothing new. At my age (ehem), more and more things are getting palatable. More often than not, i find them amusing.

And then TV3 interview the ruffled politicians.

First that guy who at one time had some slingshot exchange with the custom department over some purchases of Mercedes. Remember him? At one time, not so very long ago, he was the flavour of the month. There were cries for him to step down as the exchange between him and the custom was getting too embarrassing. Oh, remember the sms-es? So fuh-nee he…

He ranted on and on about the bad bad farmers. I thought to myself, but YB, I am sure with each number of pig farmer there is out there, there should be at least one enforcement officer that is just as bad.

The pig farmer is probably doing a wonderful job as a farmer considering the amount of profit that he rakes in. Looking after the environment is not top of his list. His main purpose, main Job Description is to breed pigs and net a neat income. He’s doing a great job at that what…

What is the excuse of our enforcement officers then? What is in their JD? Isnt it first and foremost to enforce regulations and ensure that they are complied with? And uh, i didnt know that you were still in office, i thought you have resigned. It was only dignified to do so, no?

Then TV3 interviewed the shooting star of our all-time favorite political party. Here my jaw dropped all the way to the floor. Behold his wisdom!

The pollution and the terrible living condition of the folks of Pengkalan Balak are all the fault of Singapore. Yes. He said so. Singapore. Can you absolutely believe that? Blimey, I wouldn’t have known! Thank God for the brilliance of certain politicians. What would we do without them?

Why you wonder.

Allow him to explain. Because he said, Singapore refused to allow pig farming on its soil. Yet they want to eat the meat. So they ask Malaysia to export to them.

You see how absolutely evil this is? How could they make us export to them? Oooooh! Willing buyer but not-very-willing seller? Yes? (never mind the 'kachink kachink' sound you hear at the cash register) And when our pig farms are violating each of the rules in the book, of course it is not our fault. It is THEM, Singapore. Blame thy neighbour. Always.

Yamtuan and me, exchanged baffled looks. We picked our lower jaw back from the floor, attach it back to its socket then resume eating.

I thought of the pari, kembong, kerapu and sotong that we had. Probably laden with heavy metals. Singapore to be blamed. The price of dinner that night was preposterous too. Who to blame? Singapore lah.

And I am tired and nauseous almost all the time. Yes, Baby the Third is on its way. Singapore doing, I swear.