Win Wean Situation

I don’t remember ever seeing my mother breastfeed my brother. She must have done it when I wasn’t watching, but no I cant recall in any of my childhood memory ever seeing her hold a baby to her breast.

And I don’t remember ever seeing the act of breastfeeding by anyone at all. But despite having never seen it, I always have the impression that a child is only a son/daughter to the person who nurses him/her. And it is a no-joke matter, that you become obligated to that woman as their child for every drop of milk you drink from her breast. Or something like that.

A story I remember well is about an auntie whose child was born sick. Something to do with his brain and nerve system. A beautiful baby but the mother refused to accept the son and by that refused him the breast milk. He was ignored and the father took over the role of nurturing him. The boy never did acquire the use of his limbs and when the boy was about 6, he fell down the stairs and went into spasm. As he was struggling through his last few breaths, the mother frantically tried to give him the breast. He didn’t get one drop at all.

That cousin of mine died many years ago. I was about his age when that happened. The story left a huge impression on my mind on the importance of breast milk and I don’t mean it in a biological way.

But then again, having never seen the act, I thought breastmilk is only something that you give babies in the first 44 days of their life.

My sister has 4 kids with the eldest being 14. But then again, I have never seen her breastfeed the kids either. Granted, I only go back Kluang occasionally so I must have missed it.

When I was pregnant with Dot, among the first few things that I bought were botol susu, thermos etc, you know the whole bottle feeding stuff including the bakul pasar too. It never occurred to me that I had a choice. You would think that I am internet-blind and as ignorant as a cavewoman for having never read anything about the wonders of breast milk! But whoa, wait a minute, cavewoman breastfed their babies! Plastic and glass were not invented yet.

And after more- than-12-hours-of-labor-pain-fully-dilated-push-breathe-push-breathe-induce-her-try-pushing-again-what-cannot-baby-distressed only to be offered a consent letter to sign so the baby could be delivered via c-section, I felt cheated of the experience. They showed me the baby and then tucked her away because I was too drugged. When I was sober enough to appreciate the pink bundle, I discovered to my dismay that I didn’t feel that instant click with her. There was no recognition. And I thought after the birth, I would hold her, me in my sweat and her all bloodied and we would greet each other knowingly. The trauma of giving birth and being born would be shared like true comrades and mother-daughter would immediately bond for life. Nope. Sorry. Bubble burst. Didn’t happen like that. I didn’t quite bond with her. She could be anyone’s baby.

I told the paediatrician and the obgyn,why didn’t I feel like what I thought new mothers should feel?

They suggested breastfeeding.

Not yet, I said. I was in too much pain to accommodate nursing a wriggling and impatient baby.

After I was discharged, Yamtuan packed us all in his little kancil and drove us down to Kluang.

By that time, I was very worried about this bonding thingy. Inspired by the serene pictures I have always seen of mothers nursing babies, I tried it. And I tell you, it was nothing like the pictures. More often than not, both me and Dot would be crying in frustration. We both didn’t quite know how to do it. Left right sit lie down upside down I tried everything. I surfed the internet and tried the guide for idiots, everything. And unashamedly, I asked all that came visiting how to do it. Half of the kampong makciks must have seen the whole splendor of my breast!

My mom or sister weren’t the best of coaches because they were not quite practitioners themselves. After about two weeks of hit-and-miss, I called up a friend and cried my eyes out. It was perhaps, my smartest move. She happened to be a staunch advocate of breastfeeding. A few days after the call, I received a parcel from her. It contained a few books, all about breastfeeding. Why it is impossible for mammals not being able to nurse their babies. Cool. I gained the confidence and finally, thank God, Dot and I both graduated. And true enough, it helped us bond.

And so convinced was I with the milk that I didn’t stop after 44 days. I continued on and at two months, I though, why not do it to 6 months and more months after that and I finally stop when I was strongly advised to. I was pregnant again with major placenta praevia.

Weaning her was not easy.

And then Sun arrived. For a while, I had both babies on my chest and felt every inch like a cat.

Sun will turn 2 soon and he was weaned off about a month ago. It was easier with him.

Let me share with you the things that I have tried to wean them off:-

Bitter Gourd juice.
Effective but only for a while as it dries easily. The bitterness is easy to get accustomed to and you have to keep a steady supply of the juice. When the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, you risk being arrested for using the lesung batu. Your neighbors will not appreciate it very much. Trust me.

Coffee.
Effective. A true baby deterrent. The mere smell is enough to make them avoid the area. But beware that the caffeine will keep the baby up and about. Expect a cranky hyper-bouncy baby. Smell of caffeine alone is enough to enlarge blood vessels and keep them awake. And you too. And probably the neighborhood as well.

Lipstick.
And claim the red to be blood. The success of this will depend very much on the how much your kid cares about you. Dot was worried that my breast was bleeding. She avoided the breast totally after this. Sun didn’t care. Pain, pain lah, he wanted his sustenance. But at least i was given the choice, whether to forgive the kid or pinch his nose then and there. Oh, i let him live.

Dead cockroach.
Very effective to deter everyone including husbands, friends and foe. But, with the risk of stating the obvious - cockroaches dead or alive are not exactly clean to put on the body.

Toothpaste.
The best deterrent so far. Especially the extra mint type. It will be too hot for the baby and the tingling sensation it gives is absolutely out of this world.

There are still many things to experiment with. Crushed pil drakula? Ground pepper? Minyak gamat?